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There is absolutely no reason that these box office predictions shouldn't be 100 percent accurate, if you throw out the fact that we're no good at this unless we're drunk. And, sadly, we are not drunk yet.

1. Batman Begins—$27 million
We're still a little gun-shy after last week's overestimation, but Batman should some nice business in its second week, while audiences decide whether or not they're going to stay away from War of the Worlds because they're completely sick of Tom, Katie, and L. Ron's Love and Scientology Variety Hour.

2. Bewitched—$22 million
The buzz on this movie is a little puzzling, mostly along the lines of "Hey, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! I thought it was going to be a total disaster, but it kind of wasn't!" Extremely low expectations, somewhat parodoxically, might save it from Stepford Wives territory.

3. Herbie: Fully Loaded—$16 million
This one's got something for everyone: A cute car with a mind of its own for the wee ones, a cautionary tale for parents to show their teens, and a chance for dads to do some serious reflection about whether it's OK to perve on the still-buxom-at-the-time-of-filming Lindsay Lohan now that we know how she's turned out in the months since shooting wrapped.

4 Mr. and Mrs. Smith—$14 million
It's been at least five hours since we've lost ourselves in a daydream about sitting poolside as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt make some aggressive, doggy-style, superstar love on a nearby deck chair. That can't be great news for the movie, can it?

5. Land of the Dead—$10 million
We haven't seen enough previews to answer the important question: Are these fast zombies or slow zombies? If they're the speedy undead, we reserve the right to adjust our projection upwards. If they're slow, we reserve the right to get high and go see Herbie.