There Is A Tiny Jennifer Aniston Living In Your Brain
Do you sometimes feel that after a half an hour in front of The Insider or flipping through US Weekly, you feel "foggy" or unable to focus even on the most simple, non-celebrity-related memories? While you might have previously attributed that feeling to a little piece of your soul dying, some "scientist types" say that the parts of your brain responsible for forming memories might be riddled with cells that only fire when confronted with images of your favorite celebrities:
“For things that you see over and over again, your family, your boyfriend, or celebrities, your brain wires up and fires very specifically to them. These neurons are very, very specific, much more than people think,” says Christof Koch at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, US, one of the researchers. [...] They first gave each subject a screening test, showing them between 71 and 114 images of famous people, places, and even food items. For each subject, the researchers measured the electrical activity or “firing” of the neurons connected to the electrodes. Of the 993 neurons sampled, 132 fired to at least one image.
The team then went back for a testing phase, this time showing participants three to seven different pictures of the initial 132 photo subjects that hit. For example, one woman saw seven different photos of the Jennifer Aniston alongside 80 other photos of animals, buildings or additional famous people such as Julia Roberts. The neuron almost ignored all other photos, but fired steadily each time Aniston appeared on screen.
Please join us as we grab our sharpest kitchen knife and attempt to carve out the millions of neurons which become aroused only in the presence of images Tom Cruise snaking his tongue towards Katie Holmes' quivering, resistant mouth. Yes, the impromptu operation's going to be messy, and we might mistakenly take out the parts that prevent us from defecating in public or country line-dancing, but we think the potential rewards far outweigh the risks.
