Let's Take Pride Week to the Next Level
The clouds have parted, the sun is shining, and sidewalk is glittering — it's Gay Pride Week, hurrah! But why, you must wonder, do The Gays celebrate the sin of pride? Why can't they celebrate all the deadly sins? A suggested schedule:
MONDAY! Gay Pride - Start the week with the traditional, "I'm okay, you're okay, but what's her problem."
TUESDAY! Gay Envy - Geffen as Grand Marshall while a bunch of working class mo's try to figure out if what Geffen's wearing is available at Century 21.
WEDNESDAY! Gay Gluttony - Power-bottom, crystal pig-sluts Unite! This one can be a masquerade parade as all will be anonymous, as in Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Sexual Cumpulsives Anonymous.
THURSDAY! Gay Lust - Just cover Fifth Avenue with black plastic, lube it up and let the fun begin. Sponsored by Wet!
FRIDAY! Gay Anger - We're some of the best protesters out there. Bring out the signs, the banners, and, oh yeah, the whistles. Must have the whistles!
SATURDAY! Gay Covetousness - This one doesn't need to go all the way down Fifth. Gucci, Fendi, etc. provide all this day's parade needs.
SUNDAY! Gay Sloth - All that parading around makes you just want to order brunch in. Even the biggest mythological gay of all rested on his seventh day
