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Congratulations to Elise Hartley, Steven Selikoff, Darren Shewchuk, Ashley Daneshgar, and Jerome Duboz, whom have apparently survived both the William Morris Agency's desk-monkey gauntlet and its arcane promotion ritual (think Crisco, spiked fraternity paddles, and three days of copying non-disclosure agreements with their own blood) to become Full Fledged Agents. Huzzah! Send us the dry-cleaning bill for the first cup of coffee you toss on your new assistants. And thank you, Variety, for publishing this announcement and letting their parents know what they're up to—they were undoubtedly worried that their starry-eyed kids were doing something marginally less respectable since moving to L.A., like selling homeless people's plasma to the blood bank as their own and stiffing the donors on their cut of the profits.