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· Even on a day where seemingly anything can happen, we still can't bring ourselves to believe that Paris Hilton's going to hang up the nightvision vagina and retire herself from the public eye.
· How many of these Jacko headlines will wind up atop tomorrow's tabloid stories?
· It's just like the Beverly Hills Hotel, but everyone's fucking in exchange for money instead of...well, it's exactly like the BHH.
· "Michael Jackson has been found not guilty of all charges in his child molestation case. Now what?" We think we don't need to spell out the punchline for you. But Slate will tell you "how Michael Jackson got off."