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Despite the heat, yesterday's Puerto Rican Day parade was about pure celebration. Amongst the hundreds of thousands of revelers, a mere 120 members of the Latin Kings gang were arrested, an lone three people were stabbed, just a handful of guns, knives, and drugs were confiscated, and only two NYPD officers were drunkenly groping women. By all accounts, the event was a smashing success.

Nevertheless, some 5th Avenue assholes were still boarding up their property windows:

"It's an insult to the Puerto Rican community and to the Police Department," said Luis N. Colon, a lawyer marching with the Puerto Rican Bar Association. "They don't do that for any other parade. But when we come out, they board up their homes and go off to the Hamptons for the weekend.

"Maybe next year we'll hold the parade in the Hamptons," he added.

Oh God, NO! Wait, be calm. Deep breaths. Okay, okay — everyone will take down the boards, unlock their doors, and you can take anything you want... Just not the Hamptons.

Trail of Red, White & Blue With Joyful Latin Soundtrack [NYT]
'BOOZY' P.R. PARADE COPS IN GROPE PROBE [NYP]