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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com (putting “privacywatch” or “sighting” in the subject line helps immensely) and let the world know that Elijah Wood has a special place to get his hair dyed.

In this episode: David Chappelle; Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" Wilson; Adam Sandler; Chris Rock and Maya Rudolph; Cameron Diaz; Kirsten Dunst; Samuel L Jackson; Alec Baldwin; Bruce Willis and Adrian Grenier; Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis; The Olsen twins; Orlando Bloom; Elijah Wood; Luke Wilson; Cindy Crawford; Spike Jonze, Karen O, and Catherine Keener; Larry King, Michael Caine, David Geffen, and Ron Perlman; Chloe Sevigny; Will Arnett, Jason Alexander, and Steve Hytner;Nicole Richie and DJ AM; Michael Keaton; Mickey Rourke; Andy Richter; Joss Whedon; Jason Schwartzman; Wilmer Valderrama and Pink; David Hasselhoff; Pat O'Brien x2; Dennis Miller; Tiffani-Amber Thiessen; Trent Reznor; Scott Speedman; Shane West;
Robbie Williams; Kaley Cuoco; Efren Ramirez; Skyler Stone; Wee Man x2; Ananda Lewis

· Last night (Thursday, 6/2) I was at the Apple Store at The Grove just before they closed (8:45pm) and who was I standing in line behind? David Chappelle! He appeared to be with two friends, very low key, totally chilled out. I hesitated about saying anything to him for fear of causing another meltdown, but I did manage to work up the courage to shake his hand and tell him that it was "good to see him back in the game". He was very humble and gracious and genuinely seemed to appreciate my show of support. Then the next register opened up and I went about my business. Moments later I experienced yet another Wayans Brother sighting at the Italian Restaurant right next door but I'm not sure which Wayans it was. (Maybe Marlon?)

· I had a super-sized celeb sighting in Beverly Hills last night (6/7). I was at Kate Mantilini's, and Owen Wilson [Ed.note—The Butterscotch Stallion] was dining two tables over with some friends. He looked fit and tan with sunbleached hair—almost like an extra from Lords of Dogtown. As I left the restaurant with my party, the table nearest the door (apparently reserved for ex-teen drama stars), was hosting a mini reunion of the WB's illustrious show, Dawson's Creek, starring Dawson himself, James Van der Beek, Kerr Smith (Jack), and the girl who played Jack's crazy sister (Andie?) No word on whether the parties met.

· So I am going to see my friend who works at the Beverly Center Mall on Sunday, May 29th and as I go up the escalator, who is coming down but old Adam Sandler himself. He was carrying a big box, wearing sunglasses and smiling.

· Went to lunch at the Ivy yesterday (6/7) - Chris Rock was there with a table of eight, looked like family. Everyone seemed very happy. I'm not sure if everyone else was staring at them because it was Chris Rock or because 8 black people were actually eating at the Ivy. Also, saw Maya Rudolph coming out of the yoga studio in Larchmont Village (where i live) - she's like 7 months pregnant. Must have hid it on SNL.

· Saw Cameron Diaz today (Saturday 4 June - at around 2:30pm) at the Paint Shop on Robertson getting a pedicure, wearing a green top and perusing some sort of tabloid magazine. That's all i got.

· Saw Kirsten Dunst at La Poubelle last Friday night. I was surprised at how cute she is in person, it took me a while to register who she even was as I always thought her face seemed so gigantor to me onscreen.

· Saw Samuel L. Jackson playing in a golf tournament on Saturday up at the Mountaingate Country Club. Was wearing the ubiquitous Kangol hat and shades. He and his partner did pretty well, but didn't win. Surprisingly, I didn't hear him quote any made-up bible scriptures or utter "MUTHAFUCKER" once...which was disappointing.

· Being a denizen of The Valley, I hardly ever see famous people. Especially not in places that I visit regularly, like the Sephora at Fashion Square Mall in Sherman Oaks. But on Sunday, I had the most random Celeb Sighting ever: Alec. Fucking. Baldwin. I was in line to purchase my fix of On A Clear Day by Philosophy when I heard a familiar, gravelly voice. I turn-toe to be a looky-loo and see him. He was as tall as I thought he would be, but kind of beefy. He also looked like he had just rolled out of bed; he was dressed somewhere in the neighborhood of Comfortable and Oh Alec, Has It Come To This? salt-and-pepper beard stubble, wrinkled cargo shorts, tennis shoes. He was there with a tween-age looking girl, buying her something. I suppose it was his daughter, Ireland?

· Saw Adrian Grenier's beautiful eyes at the Domino Magazine Launch Party Tuesday night. He was the only celeb, and a charming distraction from the crowd full of hipster designers and wanna be decorators. He ate a lot of tempura and chatted with his non-famous friend...don't know which was yummier, his smile or the lemon drops we were all pounding. Bruce "John McClane" Willis was at my post office in The Palms yesterday to take a passport picture (shouldn't he have a passport already?). He took an extra 15 minutes to happily posed for pictures with EVERY person in there that asked, including the WHOLE postal staff. Amazing how fast postal workers can move when it's unrelated to the mail. Bruce looked a little old with his grey hair grown out, but he'll always be a sexy Jimmy 'The Tulip' Tudeski to me. Funniest part was an excited man shrieking "Yippee Kai-Eh Muthafucka!" as he left.

· Just spotted (6/8) Paris and Paris walking hand in hand past Panini Cafe in West Hollywood led by a bevy of paparazzi yelling questions at them as they snapped pictures. They ignored the questions and finally escaped into the Ramada parking garage.

· Just saw the Olsen twins (around 1:00 am 6/8) with 3 other people at Swingers. They were looking at menus and I'm assuming preparing to eat. The one with the dark hair was a lot grosser looking than the blonde, although neither were particuarly attractive. A bodyguard waited outside in front of their black Range Rover right next to the entrance way. They suck.

· I went to lunch today alone at Johnny Rocket's on Ventura in Encino, was sitting at the counter eating my burger when in walks Orlando Bloom, also alone. He sat down at the counter as well a few seats away. I didn't even notice it was him until he took off his sunglasses (though he kept on his baseball cap). His beard was a little scruffy as usual, wearing a t-shirt and what I think were running pants. I was only there long enough to hear him order a drink - just water.

· I was walking down Vermont Avenue in Los Feliz Village this morning, when I passed a hair stylist and her
male client having a smoke in front of what appeared to be a closed hair salon. I looked over at the guy as I walked by, and there, covered in hair dye, was everyone's favorite little hobbit, Elijah Wood. It was definitely him. I'm not sure why he was slumming it in Los Feliz, or why the hell he was standing along super-busy Vermont Avenue covered in hair dye. I guess he was getting the VIP treatment from this gaga-eyed stylist who apparently opened the salon just for him.
That was such a paparazzi moment. Why, oh, why didn't I have my digital camera on me to capture Frodo dyeing
on the streets of Los Feliz? Elijah Wood is gay-as-balls! [Ed.note—Bonus points awarded if you remember the phrase "dark ass brown."]

· Who else did I see but Butterscotch Stallion's less famous brother, Luke, last night (6/8) at the newstand on San Vicente in Brentwood late at night. I made little effort to look at him, nor did I move over to let him pass by me so he could check out his own face in the mags. He reeked of beer, cheap beer mind you. And the average-looking girl in his Dodge stationwagon (it might be "new," but it's still a Dodge...and it's still a stationwagon) looked desperate to be noticed. At any rate, he bought a handful of mags and the only reason I was curious was to see if they were a) mags that featured him, b) homoerotic mags or c) both.

· I had lunch today (6/9) at pasquale's - a hybrid cafe/shoe repair shop (I kid you not) and cindy crawford was there. I think she may have been dropping off some manolos or something for repair bc she seemed to put in order at the counter but I didn't see her eat. also, she's stunningly beautiful and natural looking.

· so last night at the pixies (at the wiltern, 8pm show) i saw spike jonze and his gf karen o. hanging out
backstage with catherine keener (who looked great, i guess divorcing suits her?). spike and catherine were sitting down, kicking back and chatting animatedly...and karen was wandering around the room. she had the annoying 'i'm so indie i have that kind of bi-level haircut' thing going on. also, ugly patterned t-shirt, no bra and surprisingly, kind of a pot
belly—eww. funny only because she had to be about 20 years younger than the rest of the people backstage...

· All on 6/6: Busy day- Larry King at Nate 'n Al's for breakfast (heart healthy?), Michael and Shakira Caine enjoying themselves at the Peninsula at lunchtime, and David Geffen with Ron Perlman (Revlon, not the Beast actor) at Dan Tana's for dinner. I need to move out of L.A....

· The Don of the Gay Mafia himself, David Geffen, dining with assorted (male) lieutenants last night at Dan Tana's. They all wore suits except D-Gef, who sat center-booth in a Hawaiian shirt. It's good to be the Don.

· Last Thursday, June 2, I was walking up to Little Joy, the most unhip hip place in Echo Park. As we got closer, I noticed a very out of place looking skinny blond girl. She was wearing a short butt-grazing yellow trench coat and high, lace up the ankle platform espadrilles. She was hunched over talking on her cell phone. As we went into the bar, she followed, and I turned around to see it was none other than Chloe Sevigny. She was there for about an hour, spending most of the time in the bathroom, and then she left. Highly anticlimactic, but funny all the same. That awful scene in Brown Bunny kept flashing back to me as I smirked at her.

· It was television supporting actors overload today (6/2) at the Newsroom Café on Robertson Blvd. In order of appearance, first saw ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT stud/voiceover extraordinaire Will Arnett sitting outside with a friend who was peculiarly dressed as a mail carrier. Gob looked taller than I expected, sadly his wife was nowhere in sight. Amy Poehler, I love you. Outside on the patio I saw Jason Alexander in perhaps the frumpiest, most unfashionable ensemble I’ve ever seen since moving to LA - flannel shirt, khaki pants, baseball cap, and I kid you not, a leather fanny pack that he wore off center to the right. He looked like shit for even Tourist-from-the-Midwest standards, but you figure with all that SEINFELD money he no longer has to dress off the discount rack at Ross. Rounding out the afternoon and continuing the SEINFELD theme, spotted Kenny Bania-himself, character actor Steve Hytner. Definitely had to IMDb that last one. Damn, I think it’s time to get a job, job, job.

· about 4:15p today i saw a horde (8-10) of paparazzi scrambling across the intersection of Beverly & Robertson. I saw one almost get hit. He laughed it off, turned and pointed his camera at what i am 88% sure was Nicole Ritchie holding hands with some guy that looked kinda like Adrock from the Beasties [Ed.note—DJ AM] - but not him. She was decked out in big sunglasses and a fancy pattern dress. He kissed her as the cameras clicked. They calmly walked across the street, then down the middle of the RIGHT LANE of Robertson as the paparazzi swarmed. It was like a parade. And the stars of the show to me were those paparazzi. They seemed like circus clowns on meth - just frenzied running & tripping & laughing through
the busy intersection.

· A gaunt and elderly Michael Keaton dining with a thick-rimmed glasses type man at Primitivo in Venice friday night. He had one of those gray stubble almost-beards going. Remember 15 years ago when he was Batman?

· Friday June 3- Saw Mickey Rourke coming out of Ralphs on Sunset. Wearing denim on denim (ew) with a big 'don't look at me I'm a celebrity with tons of plastic surgery' hat and sunglasses. Tempted to ask him if he bought any strawberries and honey but managed to contain myself. Very very very scary.

·Man, this morning I was at a garage sale, and who was there? MY CELEBRITY STALKER, Andy Richter. Seriously, I have seen him around town more often than some of my close friends- always at improbable locales like trashy taquerias at two in the morning- and, frankly, I'm tired of it! Celebrities, even b-grade ones like Andy, should not be allowed to go to garage sales. It gives the whole thing a very odd atmosphere, and precluded people from taking a look at the NordicTrack he was leaning on. He was talking loudly to another dude about digital cameras and was totally ruining the Saturday Morning Thrifting Vibe. Even the hardcore Vietnamese grandma was too uncomfortable to haggle in front of him. THANKS A LOT, Andy.

· i went to the arclight half to see SW3 on their huge digital screen, and half to attach some celebrity to my memories of this nerd christmas. who should I see exiting the screening before my own in the Dome but Joss "Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Etc" Whedon? it was more than enough to turn this geek on. he was with another gentleman and dressed in his classic uniform of t-shirt, outer long-sleeve shirt unbuttoned, and rumpled pants. i later saw him exiting the arclight eatery and apparently validating his parking. glad to see his 7-figure deal with Fox isn't inspiring him to throw money at the arclight parking garage.

· Friday (6/3) Saw Jason Schwartzman outside Real Food Daily on Beverly during lunch. He made creepy eye contact with me, as if he was trying to recognize me. Guess it must be that Johnny Knoxville thing I've got going
on. Now, to find Jessica Simpson.

· I just had to tell you about my sighting on Sunday. I went to see Peaches spin at "Sunday Funday" at the Standard. As expected, she was there looking good and handing out stickers with the infamous Phil Spector big hair shot. And David J was there and Peaches played Bela Lugosi's Dead. But far more exciting was the arrival of Wilmer Valderrama and Pink. They had a little posse that included big ass body guard engrossed in his blackberry, a girl that looked exactly like Pink but smaller (sister?) and another girl that David J identified as Sofie from Carnivale, though I'd ID her as the invisible girl on an episode of Buffy. Wilmer and Pink were very cozy and affectionate with each other, though I don't think it was romantic so much as celeb co-dependence. With you in mind, I tried to sneak in a photo (pretend to snap friends in the foreground while really focusing canoodling in the background) but the Standard security staff is far too savvy for that and kindly asked me to take my picture 'in any other area.' I always thought that Wilmer would be far better looking in real life because he gets such good tail, but he was pretty scrawny and just looked like he does on TV but with a faux hawk.

· At Urth cafe Sunday afternoon. Big green Lincoln Navigator with spinners valets. Out of the driver seat pops David Hasselhoff with his daughter (I assume) and some other 12 year old-ish girl. He's wearing an orange shirt. He clearly wanted to sit outside as evidenced by his constant pacing but there were no tables so he sat inside and moped.

· Last Friday, at Barney's New York in Beverly Hills, I had one of the top celebrity sightings since Toni from Paradise Hotel. There, shopping by himself (yes, that's sans his sober coach) Pat O'Brien with his orange fake tan and ruffled hair, which managed to cover about 45% of his bald spots. I quickly ran over to the Hugo Boss discount shelf and pretend to rummage through it as he was checking out with his shirts and one pair of pants. Sadly, the clueless clerk even had a hard time recognizing him as he asked to see his driver's license.

· You have probably gotten hundreds of emails about this tonight already. Pat O'brien was @ Mars Volta. He was wearing a AC/DC shirt and was rolling with 5 guys in their early 20's. He got heckled a bit in the Will Call line.

· I was in the lobby of the Wiltern before the 7:30 Pixies show on Friday night and I saw Dennis Miller chaperoning his kid and other youngsters. Before I could try to sell him the joke about how Frank Black looks like Curly Joe DeRita starring in the Fatty Arbuckle Story as directed by James Whale, he had disappeared into the crowd.

· (6/3) I saw Tiffani-Amber Thiessen at the Encino Post Office at Ventura/Balboa. She is stunning in person and was very friendly to all who helped her with the ton of packages she was mailing.

· Amongst the hordes filing out of the Greek Theatre on Monday (June 6) after Kraftwerk's performance was a noticeably freezing Trent Reznor, hand-in-hand with a dark-skinned lady. Maybe it was more disgust at rubbing shoulders with the masses than the Griffith Park chill because he made a bee-line, with a perma-shrug on, to the mysterious
"Hospitality" lounge rather than mingle with the crowds.

· Saw Scott Speedman at Gelsons Los Feliz yesterday (6/5), shopping the beverage aisle. I was blinded by his highlights.

· Saw Shane West at Sharky's on Cahuenga in Hollywood. He was wearing a John Deer hat and a New Orleans Saints jersey. Definitely not cool enough to rock the Saints jersey. He is not as cute in person - his eyes were bloodshot and he is skinny. He was on the cell the entire time. No one else seemed to recognize him - not even the friend i was with who works in casting. sad.

·just saw robbie williams at the home depot center in lovely carson, ca.(6/2) most likely here for the david beckham press extravangaza. looked a little pudgy but not as bad you would think.

· Saw D list actress Kaley Cuoco (of 8 Simple Rules) at the Grand Manchester Hyatt in San Diego. She was at the pool, and I must admit she had a near perfect body. She glared at me as if to say, “I’m famous, DAMMIT! Know me!” She was there with her boyfriend, and they were very cuddly. I now realize he’s one of the twins in that boy band, Evan and Jaron. I think he’s Evan? I don’t know, and I don’t really care enough to find out. All I know is that she was walking around like she owned the place, and I’m pretty sure she’s recently unemployed…

· I saw Efren Ramirez looking nothing like his character Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite on Friday at 4:15PM the day before the MTV Movie Awards with producer Chris Barrett on Sunset Avenue go into the elevator next to the Hustler Store heading up to the Island/Def Jam Records. Chris and Efren left about 15 minutes later holding a box full of records (I guess for Efren to spin at his MTV after party, he is a DJ too).

· "Con" Skyler Stone was seen last night at the Westwood Brewing Company where he got into an altercation with some dude, got a drink dumped on his head, was punched, and then was kicked in the head. Police were called and he reported the whole incident to them while holding a towel full of ice up to his ear. Was is a con? I have no idea, but his ear was all red and black and blue.

· Wee Man of Jackass fame, spotted at the Dodgers blowout loss to the Tigers on Tuesday night. Wee was high fiving and taking pix with fans as well as one who stood out: a fellow-vertically challenged Dodger's usher with a heart of gold. Wee downed a few beers and generally looked like he was having a great time with a hirsuite skater-type friend.

· this past weekend, my ladyfriend's brothers were visiting LA from their small family-owned dairy farm in Wisconsin and it just so happened that the Brewers were playing the Dodgers. We got our tickets, proceeded to our row, where we found none other than Wee Man, enjoying the game with a bearded buddy of his and Jessica Alba-skin-toned girl who wore BIG sunglasses. Wee Man signed an autograph on a one-dollar bill for a young girl who sheepishly approached him in the sixth inning.

· June 7, 3:00pm. Saw former MTV hostess and current Pat O'Brien sidekick Ananda Lewis in the Brass Plum shoe section of The Grove Nordstrom's. Trying on fugly thick-soled athletic-type flip flops and yelling directions into her cell phone to get picked up. She had no idea where she was, as she kept shouting at employees and asking what street she was on. Everytime an employee told her "The Grove Dr." she kept repeating "Orange Grove" like some kind of geographically retarded bobble-head. Was solo, and I can see why with that attitude. Tiny, but in a normal way. Lots of hair, looked real. Was annoyingly wearing sunglasses indoors, those really light beige-colored ones.