Short Ends: Real-Life Turtle Yearns For Fictional Life
· The real-life "Turtle" ("Donkey," improbably) is still waiting for Marky Mark to make his life like the one he has on Entourage.
· "There's not much I can do at this point anymore. I feel like the more I kind of defend myself, then the more they say. I'm just such an easy target, I guess. I don't know why I'm so interesting." Hmmm...good point, Lindsay. Why are you so goddamned interesting? Oh, that's right—the peekaboo rack, the scary weight loss, and the disarming public moments of introspection.
· Sure, people were disappointed, but at least no one wound up with a telephone-inflicted head wound.
· "Klugman, Dr. Ruth and Randall's ghost"—Who are three people we're definitely not inviting to the celebrity orgy?
· Its vast reserves of Vaseline are well-known, but is Neverland Ranch sitting on black gold as well?