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In a very special Monday afternoon edition of Hollywood PrivacyWatch, a reader salvages an otherwise routine meal at the Ivy with a pair of sightings (really, why else leave the house to eat?), starring two of the entertainment industry's most electrifying personalities:

Yesterday I went to lunch at the Ivy, hoping to impress my out of town mom. No A-listers or paparazzi were present, but sitting two seats down was Lizzie Grubman, of attempted manslaughter fame (that's the only way my mom knew who she was). The best part was when a Beverly Hills Botox queen bummed a cigarette from Lizzie, she grudgingly handed it over. When the Botox queen sat back down she began bitching that Lizzie is "just pissed because the paparazzi doesn't give a fuck that she's here." You can't blame Lizzie...cigarettes are like cash in prison.

But the best part was when we were waiting for the valet, a black Bentley rolled up and all my dreams came true when our favorite hack director rolled out. No, not Michael Bay...roly-poly Brett Ratner. As he breezed by us, you could hear the crowds whispering...absolutely nothing.

Yesterday, the crowds ignored him, but this business is all about timing. Wherever Ratner dined today, we're sure that plenty of people were whispering, "There goes the guy that's going to destroy the X-men franchise." At least the news of his high-profile gig seems to have inspired the fauxteur to valet the Bentley and finally give up that endearing tic of parking in handicapped spots.