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Now that Tom Cruise has done "enough promotion already" and apparently has been muzzled by his War of the Worlds partners, L. Ron's brigade is forced to send forth a new, C-list emissary into the world to spread the message. If they can't have Tom Terrific doing a half-hour on Access Hollywood, well, they're going to have to settle for John Travolta's wife (Kelly Preston, whose "spousal duties" seem to leave a lot of time for pamphleteering) doing 1800 clumsy words on the HuffPost:

As a parent, I am deeply concerned over the escalating number of American children who have been placed on mind-altering psychiatric drugs over the last decade because of being labeled with subjective, non-medical mental disorders, like Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).All too often, parents are told that their child has a mental disorder and that this is a medical condition requiring that they be put on drugs. This is fraudulent. There are no blood tests, brain scans or “chemical imbalance” tests that can prove that any of these so called mental disorders are a disease, illness or medical condition. No such tests exist.

Sound familiar? Amazingly, Preston gets through the entire treatise without once mentioning the "S" word; however, she does end the piece with a subtle grace note, a link to fightforkids.org, a Scientology-backed website featuring a concerned-looking Hubbard Mom clutching a Ritalin-riddled child to her bosom. The tyke's obviously been spooked by the prescription pad-clutching boogeyman that lives underneath her bed.

Next week: Jenna Elfman guest edits a very special edition of the Beverly Hills Pennysaver.