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In the beginning, Memorial Day was about honoring those who had given their lives to our country, proudly defending our flag, our freedom, and our right to read Howard Zinn. Nowadays, it's about big sofa sales and, more importantly, the Hamptons. (Sorry, let us rephrase: THE HAMPTONS!!!!)

This weekend is the grand kickoff to what shall no doubt be a fantastic summer, full of drunken socialites falling face-first to the ground and getting grass stains all over their St. John's summer knits. We can hardly contain ourselves! The Post already has their coverage of Fred the Evil Swan of South Fork (and oh, how we missed their Hamptons Diary feature), while the Times tries to explain that Cabana is now Cain and the Ristorante Capri is now Almondito. Plus, the Hamptons arrival of FreshDirect insures that this will, indeed, be the Best. Summer. Ever.

While you're off stomping divots, we'll be right here until we secure a Hamptons bathtub suitable for our blackouts. In the meantime, please do send along your documentation of Hamptons insanity. Bonus points will be awarded for photos of vicious swan attacks or first-person accounts of white trash getting run over by this season's hot publicist.