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We love Gawker Stalker, you love Gawker Stalker, everyone loves Gawker Stalker. (Or, at least, quietly ignores it.) We're just one big, happy, celebrity-obsessed family 'round here, and it's sick and heartwarming and wonderful. BUT — and this is a big but — every time we run the feature, we seem to get emails like the following:

"I love Ethan Hawke AND Gawker. Are these 2 loves of mine incompatible?"
 Or:
"Why didn't you run my sighting? I used to love you guys but now I hate you and I want to cut you!"
 Or:
"Does Famke Janssen really count anymore? Yes, she walks her dog. Get over it."

Fair enough — and, as such, it's time to reiterate the "rules" (we use that term oh-so-loosely) of Gawker Stalker. Read on for the quick guide to earning our love. Memorize the following Black List, as you'll be expected to recite it, in full, for tonight's initiation.

THE GAWKER STALKER BLACK LIST

1. Ethan Hawke: We've said this before, and we'll say it again: Unless he's got his pants around his ankles and is haggling over prices with a tranny, we don't care.
2. Chris Noth: Yes, he's often intoxicated, disheveled, half-dead, whatever. If you ignore him, he'll disappear.
3. PR Releases in Disguise: If it smells like bullshit and we're paying attention, we're not going to run it. Chill with the hyperbolic adjectives and maybe we wouldn't be on to you.
4. Potentially libelous things: Don't bother. While writing something like, "Celebrity X was so damn dirty, I could smell her stinky crotch from across the platform," may make us all giggle, we're not running it.
5. Reality TV Stars: Unless they are the winner of their respective show within one month of the sighting, we don't care. Exceptions will be made for all American Idol winners and Clay Aiken.
6. Famke Janssen: See above. Ethan Hawke rules apply.
7. Mario Batali: I saw the owner of my local coffee joint standing outside her shop. Does that count?
8. Julia Stiles: We've all seen her remarkably flat face. Nothing special.
9. Hipsters: In particular, members of AsFour will not be tolerated.
10. Eric Nies: Do you realize that his Real World debut was THIRTEEN YEARS AGO? While we all loved The Grind, those days are long gone. Move along, people, nothing to see here.