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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let the world know that Jay Leno looks like one of those toy Happy Meal cars piloted by Mayor McCheese when he tools around town in his high-priced jalopies.

In this overlong, three-hour season finale episode: Dustin Hoffman; Charlize Theron; Jane Fonda; Drew Barrymore, Fabrizio Moretti, Ashlee Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and DJ AM; Jay-Z, Jamie Kennedy, Brandon Davis, and Mischa 2.0; Jesse Metcalf, Eliza Dushku, Tom Green, Tara Reid, Troy Garity, Chris Klein, Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Bijou Phillips; Sam Rockwell, Gwen Stefani, and Gavin Rossdale; Beck; Maria Shriver; Shannen Doherty and Matthew Perry; Rod Stewart and Eva Mendes; Jay Leno; Sandar Oh; Sandra Oh and Nick Stahl; Amanda Peet; Lelee Sobieski and Dyan Cannon; Amber Tamblyn; Kirstie Alley; Michael C. Hall; Breckin Meyer; Chris Klein; Michelle Kwan; Pat O'Brien; Pat O'Brien, Adam Carrolla, Dr. Drew, and Brandon Boyd; Morrissey; Danica "Winnie Cooper" McKellar; Steve Kometko; Cousin Sal; Jason Davis; Real Worlders Kyle and Lori.

· dustin hoffman and family were having a late lunch at barney greengrass. dh was on the cell for the good portion of the time and get this, he was talking business! in a public place! loudly! you could hear him from across the restaurant. it just goes to show that celebrities do want you to know all the intimate details of their lives. anyways, he kept saying, "no he couldn't do it. i don't know. he was supposed to but he couldn't do it." blah blah blah. then he said, "what about mark wahlberg? or how about david spade?" those suggestions must have be shot down because then he went for a wildly different actor, saying, "what about morgan freeman?"

he may have been talking about some charity event or something but he said he needed a big star.

all i kept thinking about was how he nuzzled his face into a pile of whip cream on babara streisand's chest in "Meet the Fockers."

· Saw Charlize Theron at Sushi Katsu-ya on Sunday evening eating at the sushi bar with what looked like her family. Her hair was slicked backed Gordon Gekko-style and was dressed down in Bohemian gear – frilly top, long skirt, sandals – not as hot as I thought she would be. Kind of sweet that an Academy Award winning actress couldn’t get a table at Katsu-ya and had to settle for the bar with us mere mortals. She was pleasant enough but I lost interest after my crispy rice with tuna arrived, that is delicious something fierce.

· for some reason, i have been spotting old celebs lately. i saw jane fonda outside the museum of television and radio in beverly hills last night with a gaggle of ladies kissing her butt. they looked like assistants or those charity types in need of celebrity clout for next big museum party. but she looked good. skinny but good. no pit stains either.

· Okay yesterday (5/18) at the Griddle we spotted Drew Barrymore and fiance Fab dining with a friend-she left before he did with a kiss on the cheek. Then in walks Ashlee Simpson with her new red hair. Left before we could see what kind of pancakes she ordered. Last Friday spotted a commotion across the street at the Coffee Bean on Sunset and lo and behold Nicole Richie and DJ AM having coffee with Lindsey Lohan and Nicky Hilton and about 35 of their paparazzi friends. Some guy wearing some sort of superman cape kinda chased after Lindsey but they got away.

· very interesting combo of people having dinner friday night at giorgios in santa monica - jay-z, brandon davis, jamie kennedy, and the littlest barton - don't know her name so we will call her mischa 2. brandon looked puffy, jamie and jay-z looked good. mischa 2 was as pouty as mischa 1. i think they had just come back from a shoot for rocawear because i heard them talking about it.

· Saturday at Spider Club was crazy. It was some pro skateboarder's birthday party. As soon as I walked in the door I saw Jesse "the hot gardener" Metcalf talking to some unattractive girls. Then literally two seconds later Nicky Hilton walks by him (didn't I read about how they were hanging out at Spider a couple weeks ago together?). Also celebrating X guy's birthday (or, in some cases, celebrating a bar) was the adorable Eliza Dushku, Tom Green (he still lives in LA!), Tara Reid (who came in noticably irritated as she was surrounded by photographers in the parking lot), Troy Garity (Jane Fonda's son, the funny white guy in Barbershop), and Chris Klein, who didn't look too heartbroken over his ex-fiance's embarassing new boyfriend jumping around like a fool on Oprah. For those that think the gossip maven Ted on E! is always pinpointing Klein as his gay-blind item — he was holding some girl's hand all night. But then again, Tom Cruise has been holding a girl's hand too. OK, keep pinpointing. After we left Spider we headed over to Dime and I (again) ran into Nicky Hilton, this time hanging with Bijou Phillips and the PLEASE-FEED-ME Nicole Richie. Nicole left me absolutely speechless. Did she stop looking at mirrors when she stopped hanging out with Paris? No jokes, she REALLY needs to gain some weight. It's not cute. Ironically she took off right before they brought a large pizza from next door to the table. I'm sure they took a piece home to her.

· Over the weekend, was standing in line for "Sith" at the Vista Theatre in Los Feliz when I happened to notice Sam Rockwell a few people ahead of me in line. He was dressed down in jeans and a navy t, bedhead and glasses intact. Was with three other people, including a pretty hipster-type girl who seemed to be his date. Seemed very down-to-earth, sitting on the sidewalk and eating a sandwich from Vons. He also must be a big "Star Wars" fan, as my friend had been waiting an hour and a half for his place in line and Rockwell was ahead of him. And keep in mind - it was 90 degrees and no shade. Once inside, he and his girl sat down with a mega-popcorn a few rows in front of me, but then I stopped paying attention.

My bigger (though much shorter) encounter was last Sunday morning, corner of Coldwater & Ventura in Studio City. I was sitting at the traffic light and happened to notice the bright blue Jag convertible next to me, then notice the hairline of the guy driving, then noticed the super-blonde next to him. None other than Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani, heading for some unknown location in the valley. Didn't get much of a look, as the light soon changed and they charged ahead. Still, not bad at all for Studio City!

· Was at the melt banana show at thetroubador on saturday — went out for a smoke mid set — came back in and passed Beck in the lobby bar. small. skinny.

· Saw Maria Shriver dropping off the little Schwarzeneggers this morning at The Brentwood school. She was driving a Suburban w/ a bumper sticker on the back that says 'Join Arnold do blah blah for California' or something or other. She looked surprisingly less Skeletor-like than usual.

· At the Dodger game on Saturday (5/4) I saw Shannen Doherty and Chandler Bing (aka Matthew Perry). She is paler than me (close to see thru skin color) and about 80 pounds, but very pretty. They were with a bunch of people, not as a couple though. During the 7th inning stretch, rather than facing the field like everyone else, he turned around facing the crowd to be noticed – very, very sad!!!!!! As we were walking out, they were playing the “Friends” theme song over the loud speakers. Coincidence? I think not. Mission accomplished Chandler!

· Was in the horrendous, make-you-hate-LA traffic on the 405 yesterday - 5/24 - and spotted a red Bentley.
This one looked like a Volvo to me, don't know why they cost so much. Anyway I eyed the driver and am 99%
sure it was Rod Stewart. The mole, hair and earring were all there, but his schnoz is surprisingly petite in person (from that angle, on the 405). Anyway assuming it was him it was quite comforting to know
that ole Rod was stuck going .25 miles per hour as well. I wanted to shout over to him that in first grade I took his Maggie May record in to show and tell and we all danced to it. I restrained myself.

Then four hours later when I finally made it to Sherman Oaks from LAX, I spotted Eva Mendes at Coldwater and Ventura. She was in front of Orange Delite on her cell but I don't think she was going there for kosher eats. She seemed to be looking for a place, with the person at the other end of her cell phone directing her. She was shorter than expected (no surprise I'm sure), and really gorgeous and sexy in a subtle, natural way.

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

· I'm not the tipper-offer on the Jay Leno sighting, but I too saw Leno under the same circumstances as mentioned and managed to snap a quick bit of photographic evidence.

· Went to see The Dears last night at the El Rey (5/25) and while at the bar I noticed Sandra Oh waiting in line behind me. She was sporting glasses and that similar look she had for 'Sideways' with that leather fringe jacket. All she needed was a motorcycle and a glass of wine.

· Ran into Sandra Oh from Sideways fame last night in the ladies room at the Dears show. She was sporting an unfortunate fish net top that looked like it might as well have been lifted from the sale rack at Hot Topic. Saw Nick Stahl of Carnivale and Sin City last night at Nacional (or as I like to call it NASTY O' Nells). That place really has become house of the uglies. Mr. Stahl looked a bit awkward.

· At ACME Gallery on Saturday I saw Amanda Peet looking very very sexy. She was looking at art,though I don't think she was that impressed with the show. It wasn't very engaging to me either. Flowery skimpy top, casual pants. Her hair was in a sexy, tousled do. She was with two other babes and had a small dog.

· Friday night (5/20) we saw Leelee Sobieski at Il Sole, very tall, very pretty, but major black eyeliner and with a guy wearing white jeans and a tweed blazer (he looked very Euro)?? Then Saturday morning (5/21), we saw Dyan Cannon (who I only recognized from Ally McBeal—the rents spotted her first) walking two little dogs on a residential street in West Hollywood. Very skinny and has clearly had some work done. But, still looked great for her age.

·I was a Lares on Friday (May 13th) to celebrate my birthday and Amber Tamblyn walked in with an older man and an older lady. I just learned on imdb.com that her birthday is May 14th so we’re basically like twins. I’m a little embarrassed because I am now 25 and can’t wait to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants…I didn’t want to admit this to her though. I have since heard that Lares is closed due to a fire…all eyes are on Amber.

· Saw Kirstie Alley at The Grove with what appeared to be 2 assistants...She was walking toward the valet stand with a uniformed officer leading the way and making sure no one bothered her. I was walking directly behind her and almost didn't recognize her due to the dramatic weight loss...She looked surprisingly good - much shorter than I thought she would be too...

· Friday evening at El Carmen, saw Michael C. Hall waiting for a table, dressed down in a t-shirt and jeans, with his cute blonde wife? girlfriend? at his side. They waited for a bit and got a table up by the front when a couple left... nothing too exciting.

· Another chapter in my book of Uninspiring Celebrity Sightings: Saw Breckin Meyer in the lobby of the Arclight Thursday afternoon (5/19), undoubtedly checking out STAR WARS, Episode III like everyone else. This guy’s IMDB page is tragic, but certainly not as bad as REVENGE OF THE SITH. George Lucas - fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me thrice, well, I want my money and childhood back please.

· I was at real estate agent John Rappaport's huge housewarming soiree in Beverly Hills Saturday night
when late-comer Chris Klein walked in with a sultry Katie Holmes clone. The two of them seemed quite cozy with one another and didn't seem to mind making out by the crowded bar. I hope he wasn't driving home.

· Sometimes I spend the entire weekend in my apartment eating quesadillas and dringing Tejava out of the bottle. That's because I know it's better than venturing to places like Blueprint—the furniture store on Beverly Blvd. across from the Kings Road Cafe. Especially on the Saturday of the "Parking Lot Sale." But among the WeHo queens sniping at each other about which dining room chairs go best, who did I look up and see pawing through endless sale-priced furniture? Figure skating queen Michelle Kwan who had her mother in tow. Michelle traded in her skates for a black tank top, a baseball cap and the teeniest Daisy Duke jean shorts I've seen this side of J. Simpson. We stared at her, she knew were staring and then she price-checked a couch. I snuck back to my quesadillas as soon as possible.

· Clearly the best sighting ever. He was eating at the restaurant at fred segal (the weho one 5/23)). I hate that store but needed a candle they sell. Little did I know I'd be getting crazy with pat o'brien. I would have a better story had he offered me coke and hookers. I just can't turn either of those things down. I do think he heard me giggle at him though.

· standing about three feet away from me at weenie roast was pat "alkie" o'brien of insider, phone sex, and dr. phil fame. guess the guy's a big band-whore as well as man-whore (cf. coachella sightings). balding, skinny, and sweaty, he walked up to loveline's adam and dr drew and greeted them as if they were old pals. i guess c-list celebs must stick together. —at abbot's habit in venice today (5/22), incubus lead singer brandon boyd sat down at the table next to mine, munching on some kind of pastry that he kept hidden in his bag. he's far more gorgeous in person — it's a pity his band went down the third eye blind two-hit-wonder road.

· Saw the one and only Morrissey yesterday late afternoon around 5:30 p.m. at Cat and Fiddle on Sunset. He looked gorgeous. Perfectly dressed, and perfect hair! He was sipping pints with two women and a man I now refer to as "Mini-Morrissey." — A young latino looking Morrissey I see with the Moz quite often. Could this be a romance?

· Here's another sighting from the Arclight Star Wars midnight smorgasbord last night. My wife and I were amongst the army of dorks smashed in front of the upper level Arclight snack bar. A short, hip guy in the line next to us turned around and started talking to someone across the crowd. He conspicuously yelled, "... and this is my friend Danica." I thought, I've only known one Danica in this world: the actress who played Winnie on the Wonder Years. I looked over and confirmed that it was indeed Danica "Winnie Cooper" McKellar. She looked pretty good, better in person than on screen, and seemed pretty happy. Much of the crowd pretended not to care, yet they continuously checked her out while nodding their heads and scratching their chins in approval until she finally left with her snacks.

· Was waiting at the meat counter at Gelson's in Los Feliz yesterday when I spied former E! news anchor Steve Kometko. The bitch was all decked out in his best sunday sweats and looked fierce, yo! He's gotten kinda chunky, but still looked ruggedly handsome. Of course he was wearing sunglasses so I couldnt tell if he was high. I know I was.

· I have a privacywatch sighting for you. Sunday, February 22nd, lunch at Jerry's Famous Deli in Studio City - Cousin Sal from 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'! He was looking only slightly more disheveled than he does on the air in a t-shirt, shorts, and ball cap. He was with a good looking and very pregnant woman, who he left several times to walk to the bar and check the score of the Spurs/Suns game. (Did he cover the spread?)

· Can't stop seeing all the FAT ones! Just saw Jason Davis (a.k.a. the brother that looks like he swallowed Brandon) eating 7 steaks at the new outdoor restaurant at the Regent Bev Wilsh with a no-name blond that wasn't Courtney Peldon. O.K., so I only saw him eating one steak, but I'm sure that didn't fill him up and he requested the waiter to "keep 'em comin'"

· Real World Chicago's Kyle (also on Days of Our Lives) making out with Lori from Real World New York Redux at the Kelly Clarkson concert.