In honor of real-estate blog Curbed's one-year anniversary of reminding you that the paucity of your bank account will prevent you from ever truly "living," Andrew Krucoff of Young Manhattanite reflects on the joy of finding shelter in NYC:

(sing to the tune of "It's the End of Rent Stabilization As We Know It (And I Feel Fucked))
Broker fees, no-fee apt lists, Craigslist, nightmare stories of finding a place to live and staying on friends' couches, all-encompassing bad roommate situations (deserves its own list), six story walk-ups, the luxury of an elevator and maybe a doorman, converted 1-2-3 bdrms for 2-3-4 or more people, looking at a fuse box that pre-dates the Statute of Electricity, experiments in dry wall and shelving, broken toilets, showering at the gym during week long hot water boiler repairs, clumps of ceiling that fall due to bathroom leaks from apt above, floors with the topography of a golf course...

We all know that there's much more to New York real estate than just that. Read on for the complete list and, if the feeling moves you, sing along.

lazy or nowhere-to-be-found supers, taking landlords to court...even for attempted murder, convincing yourself that you can actually throw a party in your tiny studio, heating and cooling your giant loft deal of the century, bedroom views of brick walls, no kitchen, half a kitchen, bathrooms in kitchens, six apartments in six years, worries of that new trendy grocery or bars will raise the rents, subway line considerations, making comments like:

"should I finally move to Brooklyn?", "Astoria can't be that bad, right?", "I would never live above 14th Street", "I'm all for/against gentrification", "SAY NO TO GREEDY DEVELOPERS WITH NO COMMUNITY TIES!", "whoa, are you sure it was a rat?", "I really really wish I never signed that lease", "now this is an awesome roof, I bet you could sleep out here during the summer", "yeah but think of the all money you're gonna spend taking taxis on weekend nights", "that's too too far out on the L", "the commute is really not bad, it's on the F line", "I would love to live in this place...if I had a million dollars", "what the hell goes on up there? do they rearrange their fuckin' furniture every goddamn night?", "how do I measure square footage with this stupid thing sticking out all crazy-like?", "whoever designed this was a real asshole"

hearing neighbors have sex, never knowing your neighbors but still trying to figure out the coitus-in-stereous couple through your door's peephole the next day, passive-aggressive notes left above mailboxes or on front door like "PLEASE be a good neighbor and make sure you shut the door securely or we will all be victims of ass-rape" and "To whoever keeps taking my New York Times, you're invited over for brunch every Sunday, Apt 6W. Bring some reading material!", and neighbors who complain about your party at 2am on a Saturday night and finding yourself screaming at this douchebag in the hallway, "I don't give a FUCK what kind of doctor you are!!"

My Enthusiasm Is Curbed [Young Manhattanite]