Mary-Kate Olsen, Size Queen?
Ever since the first spring sighting of elusive wildflower Mary-Kate Olsen, our minds have been more or less stuck on two remarkably pressing issues: One, how the hell is she still alive? And two, who in God's name is that gargantuan beast holding her hand?
Unfortunately, we don't know the answer to that first question — we here at Gawker are scientists, not psychics. Regarding Mary-Kate's accomplice, however, a reader has suggested that the gentle giant is Daniel Kruglikov of Sasson Pictures and, more predictably, Bungalow 8. His Friendster profile indicates that Daniel would be perfect for Mary-Kate: He has an interest in narcolepsy, an affinity for Thundercats, and a fondness for overpriced party favors and caloric restriction.
We certainly hope Mary-Kate has found love. She needs someone to lean on, to get her through the rough times, to drag her to Butter when she needs it the most. Mazel Tov, you crazy kids.
Update: It could also be Greek shipping heir (is there any other kind?) Stavros Niarchos III, as she's been recently seen with him. We're having a hard time finding his pics, however, and we like the Daniel-from-Friendster dude better — he knows people that work for Crobar. Crobar, dammit!
UpdateUpdate: Several of you have suggested that he could also be Brendan Fraser circa Encino Man, which has us dying to make a weasel-oriented joke. But we'll restrain ourselves. For your sake.
