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· We really hate doing this, but if we don't slap Page Six's wrist once in a while, they'll keep touching us in the naughty place without leaving five bucks on the nightstand: Where do you suppose the Sixies heard about the Patrick Whitesell wedding? At least sign our name to the card if you send them some napkin holders.
· By now you've certainly seen this (we didn't want to post an animated GIF and get blamed for anyone's seizures), but just in case: Do no attempt to pet the Cruise [via goldenfiddle]
· Dear Peter Mehlman: Crash was awful. Those people who talked through the whole movie did you a favor. Send them a fruitbasket. [via LAObserved]
·Hollywood Interrupted's Mark Ebner unearths the Norah Jones-Charlie Brown connection.