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In the new issue of Newsweek, late-night TV prophet Conan O'Brien directs the predictive powers derived from years of shining the "In the Year 2000" flashlight in his eyes towards the future of television:

Super-TiVos will arrange marriages between like-minded viewers and will persuade mismatched couples to throw in the towel and start seeing other people. Tough-talking TiVos will even confront viewers, saying, "You've watched 40 straight hours of 'Sponge- Bob'—get off the weed!"

Sadly, this is where O'Brien's vision of the coming TV-driven utopia and ours diverge. Our Super-TiVos will offer to repack the bowl, or if we decided we've had enough SpongeBob for the evening, switch channels to the 24-hour Angelina Jolie Eating Carrots network, then deliver intermittent electrical pulses to our genital region until we pass out from ecstasy. And no, we don't feel that we've obviously spent too much time daydreaming about the future.