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Holy shit! FreshDirect now delivers to the Hamptons!

Go to the beach, not the grocery store. Order your food online from FreshDirect. From Westhampton Beach to Amagansett — we now deliver to the Hamptons throughout the week and on Saturdays. Whether you're re-stocking the summer pantry or heading out for a weekend in the sun, sit back and enjoy FreshDirect quality without getting burned by outrageous Hamptons prices.

Cater your fancy-dress parties, buy your unnatural mutant strains of tomatoes, do whatever the hell you people do there (which, really, I'd be the absolute last person to know), entirely without the hassle of having to go anywhere or deal with human beings! Why get in the Porsche to drive to Citarella when you can sit in comfort and style in your sunny enclosed porch with breathtaking ocean view, enjoying the latest installment of the Times series on class? -AP