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The Sunday NYT's pornucopia of Hollywood handjobs spilled over into the Sunday magazine, where screenwriter/novelist/Brian Grazer bride Gigi Levangie Grazer received the long-form profile treatment. Throughout her guided tour of the Hollywood Wife Lifestyle (plastic surgery consultations, nannys, "girls' nights," etc etc), writer Alex Witchel can't quite figure out how much of Grazer's "knowing outsider who still might get a brow lift" dance is genuine and how much is spin, as she identifies some Death-Star-level defense mechanisms:

''Brian is the movie star in our house, there is no doubt,'' Grazer told me, early on. That is a decision that has served her well. But it can also be a frustrating barrier to genuine conversation. Grazer insists on making jokes and deflecting serious questions, giving the impression — her sharp writing aside — of lacking the confidence to have an opinion or take a stand. She is an expert at hiding, not just from parties but from exposing an emotional truth in a town where image is all. Ultimately her behavior seems a kaleidoscope of bravado and fear. It doesn't feel easy to be her. [...]

We expect the retaliation from the Grazer camp to take the cruelest possible form: buying the feature rights to the profile and turning it into an Imagine movie. We can see it now...the camera pushes in to reveal Gigi Grazer (one-dimensionally portrayed by Renee Zellweger) scribbling notes for her next book, Confessions of a Hollywood War Bride, on the windows of her mansion, a single tear breaking free and rolling down her face as she watches hubby Brian (Russell Crowe in a fright wig) speed off in a black SUV. Ron Howard to direct.