Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Lohan Everywhere
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In today's episode: Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie; Lindsay Lohan and Fat Joe; Tobey Maguire; Jack Black; Courtney Love and Beck; Robert Blake; Keanu Reeves; Cameron Diaz; Vince Vaughn; Vince Vaughn and Richard Riehle; Don Cheadle and James Caan; Johnny Knoxville; Brandon Davis, Sela Ward, Nicole Richie, Carmen Electra, and Lucy Liu; Turtle, Jay McGraw, Dominic Monaghan, and Evangeline Lilly; Vincent Gallo; Christina Aguilera; Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie; Peter Gallagher; Sandra Oh; David Alan Grier; Jay Leno; Forest Whitaker; Bill Maher and "Kid from Kid N Play"; Kevin MacDonald; Donna Murphy; Michael J, Anderson; Jaleel White.
· Dime Bar (5/14) - GIRLS NIGHT OUT: · Dime Bar (5/14) - GIRLS NIGHT OUT: Linsday Lohan, new BFF Nicole Richie and that other Hilton attending some sort of Birthday function. La Hohan was on her sidekick for most of the evening accompanied by a beefy bodyguard - looking coked-out skinny with fried platinum hair. Ms. Richie is v. cute, and was dancing on the banquets. Dark haired Hilton looks much better in person. Oh and the evenings entertainment was...i kid you NOT a midget stripper.
· Saw the new look Lindsay Lohan last night at Cabo Cantina. She was skinny, bleached-blonde, and very freckly. No paparazzi were in tow, but I did manage to snap a terrible picture of her. Doesn't look like her, but you have to trust me on this one. [Ed.note—Pic at top of post.] Really wanted to get a picture of me in my TVgasm shirt with her in the background. Didn't work out. Later, I went to Geisha House later where Fat Joe and his posse were happily dining. My friend offered him a drink, but apparently he only wanted a diet soda. Also, I discovered that Fat Joe has a surprisingly gentle handshake. Who would have thought?,
· At the midnight show of Star Wars at the Grove (yeah, I'm a nerd and it wasn't that good), saw Tubby, er,
Tobey Maguire. He was standing in the front of the theater where tickets are ripped out of the line. Although I didn't see him actually saying anything or doing anything, the fact that he didn't seem to have a ticket and hadn't waited on the trolley track long line, he appeared to be playing the "I used to be a thin movie star, I don't wait in line" card. He had his requisite beard, blood shot eyes, enormous shirt and poker face. Also there with him was His Little Blonde Girlfriend and Some Guy.
· Saw the new look Lindsay Lohan last night at Cabo Cantina. She was skinny, bleached-blonde, and very freckly. No paparazzi were in tow, but I did manage to snap a terrible picture of her. Doesn't look like her, but you have to trust me on this one. [Ed.note—Pic at top of post.] Really wanted to get a picture of me in my TVgasm shirt with her in the background. Didn't work out. Later, I went to Geisha House later where Fat Joe and his posse were happily dining. My friend offered him a drink, but apparently he only wanted a diet soda. Also, I discovered that Fat Joe has a surprisingly gentle handshake. Who would have thought?
· Just got back from wading through the hordes of overweight Jedi nerds, multiple Leias and various wookie wannabes at the Arclight cinemas in Hollywood who were waiting for the 12:15 AM screening of Revenge of the Sith. (Arclight staffer to crowd :"Yes, you can take your light sabers in, but please don't turn them on, it's very distracting to other members of the audience.") I was there for the Wednesday night 8 PM screening of the Robert Mitchum classic Night of the Hunter. So too was a very tan and fit looking Jack Black, along with someone who appeared to be a wife/girlfriend — the two were very touchy in a not too gross Federline-Spears way. Jack chatted with various folks after the film noir thriller, no doubt detailing the impact this classic had on his work in School of Rock. A man of rigid self control — he surveyed the parade of Star Wars freaks without batting an eye and didn't make fun of anyone — at least not in ear shot.
· so my friend and i were in the loft at the El Rey last night, shakin' it to M.I.A when this ghastly/ghostly white blob barreled past us— "it" was wearing white from head to toe...billowy white prairie skirt that dragged
the floor, a white tank top, deathly-pale pudgy arms, and bleached hair that looked as though it hadn't been brushed since its last trip to the courtroom. anyway, jump to our smoke break outside when the Great White Whale pushes by us again...and in the bright marquee lights, we could see that not only had we been blinded by Courtney Love, but she also wasnt wearing anything under her very sheer, very lacy, very see-through skirt. it wasnt pretty. also saw a super-blonde Beck leaving with wifey Marissa— dont know what i is about that man, but i swear to L. Ron Hubbard, he was glowing.
· Yesterday, my co-workers and I left our 12-story office building across from the Howard Hughes Promenade in Los Angeles and saw the one and only Robert Blake sitting on the side of our entrance/walkway. He looked healthy and even happy, seemingly glowing! I guess that happens when you get away with murder! He smiled hello to us and we naturally ran away to tell our other co-workers across the street who we saw. Well, they apparently saw more of a show than we did. They said Mr. Blake had been lying on his side, on the grass near the flowerbeds, with 3 cameras swarming him. He was speaking, but nobody could hear what he was saying. Damn them!
· 3am tuesday night, keanu reeves and his patented quasi-beard are at the standard on sunset. looks exactly like he does on screen. he's with a couple of friends and his wife(?) and is going all PDA crazy. he can barely keep his head up. looked like the end of a long night. my friend told him that he liked the movie constantine, to which mr. reeves replied with barely any articulation: "now that's...a compliment."
· Some friends and I were at the 9:15 sitting at AOC last night (5/16). My companions made some joke about the pope prospects and NCAA bracketing when a woman who looked an awful like Cameron Diaz interruped our conversation and gave her thoughts on UNC. As she wasn't smoking or sporting horrible skin, I have my doubts, but my companions who are 'in the business' were sure it was her.
· I was at The OtherRoom in Venice on Friday, and while standing next to the annoyingly heavy-foot-traffic front-door in order to finish my drink so I could go outside, have a cigarette, and wait for my dealer, I bumped up into the mammoth Vince Vaughn who was just hanging out in the middle of the crowd as people were trying to get by, vying for the attention of ... anyone. He got it. From three smutty-sluts in silver, whom he chatted up for awhile. Heinous-Ew. Way to play the field Vincent! Oh sorry honey. I know, your mom's the only one who can call you that… but while I'm being offensive, your gut takes up more space than your entire entourage. *Sigh* I'd still fuck you though.
· I just moved to Hollywood so celeb spotting is still exciting for me. On Friday at Hollywood Park, my
girlfriend and I almost ran directly into a very blurry and puffy Vince Vaughn and friend. The next morning at a Denny's we were seated across from the "Jump to Conclusions" guy from office space! (Richard Riehle)
· The seasons must be changing, ‘cuz the celebs are showin up in Venice. First, on my way to starbucks, spotted Don Cheadle riding his bike towards the beach. He looked siginificantly more buff than I would have expected, hopefully he’s not taking an action role with his new found leading man status. Then, returning from starbucks, on the same corner, spotted sonny corleone himself, james caan. He looked a little beat-up. There should be a rule barring the 60+ crowd from sporting the stubble beard.
· Johnny Knoxville hanging out at Burgundy Room 5/15. No young actresses with him.
· Chilling and doing some shopping on N. Robertson on Saturday. Standing outside of Ivy waiting to get a patio seat when Brandon Davis (aka Mischa Barton's boytoy) walks out and says whats up to me. Then two minutes later Sela Ward walks out and steps into her trendy LA Toyota Prius. After lunch Im looking around in Kitson and Nicole Richie is standing next to me at the grooming products counter. Then in Lisa Kline, Carmen Electra shopping it up. To make the day even better, I am driving out of the parking garage next to Lisa Kline Men when Lucy Liu pulls in with her big Range Rover.
· 1. walking down melrose and saw Turtle from Entourage sitting on a patio table with some large black fellas. I only noticed him because I thought "Oh, how nice! Those thugs are hanging out with a retarded kid!" but then I realized that the vacant expression and slack jaw were not symbols of medical retardation, only the premium cable kind.
2. Sitting on Melrose/Formosa at a cafe, Dr Phil's son Jay McGraw walked by. Gorgeous! SO SO hot, seriously a corn fed sex machine, that guy, all dieseled out in jeans and a pink polo. He walked right past me and we had eye contact, oh yes! Eye contact! Sadly he was toting around some dollar-store version of Paris Hilton (seriously, not cute girl) but he was Texas adorable, opening the door of his Porsche or her and speeding away.
3. Dominic Monaghan (from LOTR) with giant girlfriend Evangeline Lilly strolling down melrose, she towering over him in 4 inch heels, as if to rub it in that he's about 5'6". But he's still very striking and sexy looking, which you wouldn't expect.
· I actually saw Vincent Gallo the other night at Home Depot on Sunset. He was pretty low key, sporting a hipster rumpled look with a beard. He was with a haggard looking blond with stringy hair and bad fashion sense, she was very Long Island looking skinny barfly/smoker type, not hot at all. Not who I would have pictured him with, but, then again, I wouldn't think he would be in Home Depot either...
· Saturday night: should have stayed home and chilled Netflix-styles with The Shield: Season 2, Disc 2, Episodes 5-8. Instead I rolled to girl power night at the Whiskey. Terrible. Instead of soothing my nerves by going home and immediately overdosing on ambien and Coors Light, I went to Monroe's on Melrose. Christina Aguilera was in the house, and conspicuously. Had she not had an enormous bodyguard blocking access to one of the back booths, I doubt anyone would have noticed. Her Yankee-cap wearing fiance couldn't be less nondescript. If he wasnt dating Moulin Rouge you know he'd be rolling in a 1999 BMW 3-series two-door with gigantic rims and a fake M3 placard to make us think he dropped the extra change. But Christy is a tiny little thing and her "people" escorted her to the loo and on her way back she and I made the appropriate 1 second of eye contact. She's pretty hot with her tight white pants and hot red lips. I danced to Eminem for 19 seconds and then went home.
· Saturday night at Monroe's I saw Christina Aguilera. She arrived around 11 with an entourage and took a space in the corner. The entourage was quickly dismissed and Christina was left alone with her fiance/boyfriend/record exec guy. They were making out and were really into each other. She looked hot and seemed friendly to the few people who approached but was generally left alone. Same day, same street, I saw Nicole Richie getting out a Benz at Urth Caffe around lunchtime. She's looking strung out skinny, has those ridiculously oversized sunglasses and is teeny tiny. But I have to say she is kinda cute. She was with some other girl whom I couldn't identify as I was driving and had maneuvers to make.
· Peter Gallagher, getting an "Excellence in Entertainment" award at a Tufts alumni reception. Not as tall as I would have liked, but fabulous hair. Was friendly to everyone who approached him. Attended with his wife, whom he apparently met the first week of college, and has been with ever since. Awwwwww.
· Just saw Sandra Oh heading towards Gardner on Hawthorne, by Gardner Elementary, home of the former "Michael Jackson Auditorium." She looked great, with gorgeous hair and skin, and was walking with a man that may or may not have been the soon-to-be ex. Looked like him, but I was too busy staring at her. Famous person! Near my house! Will wonders never cease?
· David Alan Grier is on my plane, and this time its even sadder than Chevy Chase, because right now I am flying JetBlue out of Long Beach, which hip as JetBlue may be, is a very cheap way to travel. You'd think DAG could at least afford a business class seat out of LAX. I mean Chev flew first class on American and he hasn't worked in years. Maybe Crankyankers only pays scale.
· Saw Jay Leno cruising northbound on the Beverly Hills side of Coldwater Canyon along the corridor of pine trees (local commuters know the spot) on Sunday Morning (5/15) around 9:30 AM or so. As usual, he was at the wheel of some antique car from his vast collection, a big ol 1930's model, with his big ol head filling up the front seat. Not much of a sighting, save for the fact that it was a Sunday morning. Anyone who travels the canyon on the morning commute has a good chance to see him in his antique auto du jour heading from BH up over the hill to the Valley on his way to NBC, between 9:00 and 10:00 AM most any day of the week. Big freaky car. Big freaky head. Hard to miss him. Not like he wants to be recognized or anything....
· Saw Forest Whitaker standing in front of me going through security at LAX to board a flight to NYC wearing a worn tracksuit and carrying a metal DJ's case. Stopped by a woman in the queue who complemented him on his acting, all smiles, shy acknowledgement and thanks, seems a genuinely lovely guy. The lazy eye is real though, not an act.
· Was having dinner at the Woodhouse on Fairfax 5/6, the couples next to me included Bill Maher & Date (sharing a chair at one point, yes he's a pimp) and Kid from Kid n' Play...who knew they were friends?! All I wanted to do was the infamous Kid n' Play move and jump over my bended leg.
· Saw Kids In The Hall's Kevin MacDonald and some good looking chica with an arm full of goodies from the 99 Cents Only store on LaBrea in Hollywood. Wow, they really are just like us.
· Saw Donna Murphy shopping at the Beverly Center this Saturday [5/14]. I know she's got two Tony Awards, but she'll always be the Tough Ballet Teacher With The Heart of Gold, Juliette Simone/Julie Simon from the fine, fine film "Center Stage" to me. She was perusing the sale rack at the Gap. I wanted to tell her to
dance the shit out of it, but decided to buy a tee shirt instead.
· I was standing around outside Scooby's Hot Dogs after a Cinematheque screening on Friday night (we saw Sam Fuller's Not-on-DVD gem, White Dog, starring of all people, Paul Winfield and Kristy McNicol, but anyway), and the 'dream sequence' little person from Twin Peaks Mulholland Drive / Carnivale, Michael J, Anderson, pulls into the parking space next to us and starts walking down Hollywood Boulevard toward Boardners.
He must have seen me saying the phrase "Dude, TWIN PEAKS" a lot because he was smiling faintly at us when we turned around to look at him after he was quite some distance away. Nerdiness degenerated from
there.
· Jaleel White of Urkel fame was on my 11:30 red eye from LAX to Baltimore. He sat in First Class and had his crew laughing the whole time. He was surprisingly good looking, heard him say something about a sports blog he did. And yeah, I heard him because I TOO was in first class (unwarranted bragging by me).