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CBS overlord Les Moonves just can't help himself. At their upfront presentation to advertisers yesterday, he continued his ritualistic humiliation of NBC pewter-boy Jeff Zucker, very publicly delivering the television executive equivalent of a taint-rattling wedgie, a swirly in an unflushed toilet, and the scribbling of "I LOVE DUDES" in Sharpie on his rival's forehead:

Leslie Moonves, a co-president of Viacom, which owns CBS, mercilessly baited Jeff Zucker, the president of the NBC Universal Television Group and Mr. Moonves's archrival. In a film promoting CBS's dominion over the other networks (CBS is now the top-rated network among adults), Mr. Moonves was shown smashing a stand-in for Mr. Zucker through a brick wall. [...]

Later, Mr. Moonves acknowledged that he had a problem. No less than Dr. Phil, he said, had put him on a 12-step program to "cut down on bashing" NBC and Mr. Zucker.

But the CBS team couldn't resist one more joke. "A priest, a rabbi and Jeff Zucker go into a bar," Ms. Tassler said. The crowd roared.

We think we know how this joke ends. "Zucker orders a drink from the bartender, but the bartender is Les Moonves, who leaps over the bar, then kicks Zucker in the genitals over and over again, ignoring his wails for mercy." That one gets the folks at CBS every time.