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We're hesitant to start the morning like this, but we've yet to make coffee and, moreover, we're gluttons for punishment. Also, we hate ourselves and want to die. Nevertheless, this supposedly is the much-anticipated Paris Hilton "too hot for TV" cheeseburger ad. (It'll be safe for work once you forward the link to your boss.) If House of Wax didn't turn you vegan, Carl's Jr. surely will. -KEW

Carl's Jr. "Paris" [Chris Applebaum]
Paris Hilton Gets Her Mouth Around A Carl's Jr. [Defamer]