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· Queen socialite Nan Kempner is reportedly in a coma. We know, we know — but this one's serious! [Gatecrasher]
· Whatever Boy Fabian Basabe and his publicist R. Couri Hay have reportedly ended their relationship. Their professional one, that is — how dare you insinuate otherwise. [Lowdown]
· Yonkers is burning — but more importantly, Page Six misidentifies Susan Smith as the woman who drowned her five children. As any homicidal woman knows, Andrea Yates is the woman who drowned her five children, not Susan Smith. Susan Smith is the one that threw her kids in the trunk before driving the car into a lake. You'd think the diabolical Posties would know the difference. [Page Six]
· Donald Trump strikes a deal to bring The Apprentice to South Africa. And so the people continue to suffer. [R&M (2nd item)]