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The Michael Jackson defense team's strategy is finally coming into focus. They're either going to make sure the jury believes that he is completely, scrawling-the-lyrics-to-"Wanna Be Startin' Something" on-the-walls-of-Neverland Ranch-with-his-own-feces insane, or, failing that (it's looking good, though), establishing that any of the higher primates around the house were capable of molesting prepubescent boys. Hey, if they can grip a feather duster and flush a toilet...

CALIFORNIAN jurors have heard Michael Jackson say one of his pet chimps would use the same toilet he did, had good table manners and helped clean his bedroom.

"They run around, help me clean the room. They help me dust, clean the window," he said, apparently quite seriously. He said his long-time pet chimp, Bubbles, even used the toilet in his bedroom suite. "Bubbles would go by himself," he said, confirming to the interviewer it was the same toilet he himself used.

The llamas at the Ranch have to be breathing a sigh of relief, realizing that their lack of opposable thumbs will likely keep them from being framed—but there's no guarantee they won't be implicated in the purchase of questionable erotic photography books.