This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Pardon us for bowing down before the altar of Craiglist so soon after it yielded such a wonderful nugget, but circumstances demand that we prostrate ourselves this morning;

Hand-carved pool table formerly owned by actor Jeff Goldblum - $5000 I'm selling a hand-carved oak pool table formerly owned by actor, Jeff Goldblum. It is in very good condition with carved bare-breasted women art each pocket. It has brand new aqua colored felt and comes with cues and balls. For the right price, i will have it delivered and give you a photograph of Jeff posing on the table.

Note that the photograph allegedly features Goldblum posing on the table, not with the table, suggesting (to us, anyway) that the actor once splayed himself across its felt in a celebration of the majesty of his naked form. Lips may have been licked seductively, and chest hair twirled between greedy fingers...

Hold on. Five grand? For that kind of money, Goldblum himself had better appear in person to fondle those handcarved breasts while copulating with a side pocket.