Gifford Miller, Superstar
In an attempt to be more than just the pasty white guy in the race, mayoral hopeful Gifford Miller tells The Times' Nicholas Confessore about his Lucy-like desire to be in the show. I've always liked singing," says the City Council speaker. "It finally struck me that if I could find some captive - and uncritical - audiences, I could indulge myself a little more." To that end, Miller, who says his eclectic musical tastes run the gamut from Bob Marley to Neil Diamond (black vote, check; Jewish vote, check), has been performing his little heart out on the campaign trail. Reviews in the paper seem positive, but we wanted a more professional appraisal. After the jump, our hastily-assembled panel of experts weighs in on the singing speaker's performance. AB
Sasha Frere-Jones, pop music critc, The New Yorker: I think he's totally adorable. If you want snark, I have none. People who sing at senior centers and un-selfconsciously belt out national anthems in languages they can't speak are exactly why I love New York."
Sarah Lewitinn, Stolen Transmission records: He's no Brandon Flowers, but he'll do.
Alex Ross, classical music critic, The New Yorker: Joseph Stalin is said to have possessed a very pleasing light tenor voice. Gifford Miller is not in Stalin's class, but he's not agonizingly awful either. If he were nineteen and half-Hawaiian, he might do great on 'American Idol.'"
Jeff Johnson, Music Editor, Jane: Of course Miller could use some work in the singing department!!! Ha-Ha! That's what's implicit here, even from before the piece was reported. You can just see it:
His handlers: Well, we got the you hanging out at Soho House with Tara Subkoff thing in the Post. And, uh, well, it seems you're still about 1,007% behind in the polls.
Miller: Could it be that no one likes me?
His handlers: Possibly, but let's leave that to the historians, Giffskie. Meantime, what say we turn this whole notion of scummy NYC mayoral dog-fights on its ear with some really crappy singing. Self-deprecation and humility gets a ton of votes. It worked for, hmmm, let's see, who the fuck has it worked for?
Miller: I dunno. Remember that GWB is a lumberjack photo?
His handlers: Yes, it was a bit Donner Party for us. And we're not giving you an ax.
Miller: Dammit! I need something to do at nursing homes, other than make jokes about how my campaign needs a walker.
His handlers: Please never say that again.
Miller: I know! Let's get a reporter to shadow us, I'll sing, then disparage these old codgers by calling them a 'not critical' audience after making them suffer through a an old Sinatra song. Can you get my organ grinder out of the garage?
His handlers: Now thats-a be-yooo-tiful-a! How 'bout a spicy meatball?
Miller: Dee-lish! Oh, and perhaps a decent therapist for my kid? One who's available in say, thirteen or fourteen years?
His handlers: Done.
Nine weeks later)
Miller: So has Jay-Y called back about remixing my "NYC Young at Heart '05"?
His handlers: We'd answer if we hadn't quit after being dissed on Gawker.
