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Last night, a window on William Morris Place was thrown open, and the screams of anguish could be heard from Shutters on the Beach to Dodger Stadium: "We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!" The LA Weekly's Nikki Finke sent out an e-mail blast reporting that WMA has hired Scary Hollywood Lawyer Bert Fields to "go after" the NY Post's Page Six (quotes hers, we would've gone with "deliver a legal donkey punch") for spreading "blatantly inaccurate" gossip that is "fed by rivals." The gossip rag frayed the agency's last nerve on Sunday, when they printed a rumor that the agency was so cash-strapped that they were looking to sell their spiffy headquarters to make sure they were kept in Cristal, Armani, and only the freshest babies for their breakfast buffet for a little longer. WMA, of course, is filthy rich; five minutes spent wading through the room where they discard the teeth yanked from the mouths of departing agents would yield enough gold fillings to pay all of their overhead for at least two years. Tears, retractions, and unprotected make-up sex to follow...developing.

UPDATE: The strongly-worded letter to Page Six surfaces.