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The Defamer Special Real Estate Correspondent returns from semi-retirement to take our readers on a virtual tour of C-lister Tia Carrere's home in the hills, which was featured in this weekend's LAT "Hot Property" column. The "bachelorette pad" has hit the market with an asking price of $1.5 million, and its amenities include Asian-inspired flourishes (the designer apparently had a flair for the obvious), a "giant" hottub (which undoubtedly has hosted its share of handsy producers), and the inevitable shrine to lost Hollywood semi-glory (Wayne's World figures prominently). Step inside at your own risk:

I saw it yesterday and it wasn't pretty Aside from it being an ugly beige 1954 post and beam with zero curb appeal, no set-back and no garage, with a horrible kitchen lacking any high-end appliances, the house was full of the requisite, now-dated "Zen" influences, from kimonos on the wall to copious amount of bamboo both inside and outside, sliding shoji screens, little black river rocks.

However, the funniest thing was that it was designed just like her character in Wayne's World would have wanted it. Actual outdoor-style giant hot tub in the bathroom, bed placed in full view of the neighbors deck (5 feet away, tops) through the glass bedroom walls so they could watch her roll around naked with the city lit up below her. And, to top it all off, the house was full of photos of her semi-dressed at her 1992 hottest. On the walls, framed on shelves. There was even a "Schwing" metal sculpture, just in case you were not sure who's house it was. I think the marketing move here is "let's sell the house to 30-something single dudes who want to rub one out in "Cassandra Wong's" shower every morning while thinking about her naked in it." And, let's not market it to the sub-set of those people who see her at the gym these days with the extra 30lbs as I'm forced to.