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You can take the 10:30 or 11:30 Delta Shuttle to Boston, and you'll still have plenty of time to get to Cambridge and catch Atoosa Rubenstein's sure-to-be inspiring talk at Harvard. Also, you'll finally be able to answer the age-old question: Seventeen's Atoosa or ex-NYTer Elvis Mitchell, who's hairier? JO
*Yes, we know Rudenstine isn't president anymore. But he's still on the faculty. So the joke works, dammit.

The VERY FAST TRACK to Success!: [sic on the punctuation] A Conversation with Atoosa Rubenstein [Harvard.edu]