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After reading all of the glowing things about the publicist profession frequently featured in this space, you may be shocked—shocked!—to discover that many celebrity flacks are not universally worshipped by journalists. To wit, sister site Gawker solicited media types to submit their PR-related horror stories. Feel the love overflowing from this sampling of the wildly entertaining responses:

· Nicole King, publicist to uber-bitch Reese Witherspoon, Renee Zellweger, Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson, actually shoved me at a red carpet event (where I was an accredited reporter) because I tried to ask a question — a nice one — of Jessica Simpson. I stayed behind the velvet ropes, then when Jessica came up, I stuck out my microphone to ask something, Nicole King looked down at my publication credential and snapped, “You wrote something bad about Britney!” and then she PUSHED me. I should have called the police and filed this as an assault, especially since she’s a good 50 pounds heavier than me. Next time, Nicole, it’s COPS — RED CARPET on your ass.

· I once called Leslie Sloane Zelnick (partners with Nicole King) to ask her a question about Renee Zellwegger and she went on a 15-minute rant about Lindsey Lohan’s “asshole father” and what a “crazy fucker” he was. That’s the kind of publicist I like — the one that tells me things about her clients and I hadn’t even asked.

· Cindy Guagenti — LIAR! No, Brad and Angelina aren’t having an affair. That’s a big lie, it’s all tabloid rumor. No, Brad and Jen aren’t getting divorced. They’ve never been happier. LIAR!

Somewhere beneath the profound disdain of these aggrieved journalists, there surely lies a deep-seated respect for the important job of dissembling about the comings and goings of celebrities' genitals. It's the Lord's work, really.