For your reading pleasure, we have camel toe, Kyle MacLachlan, an Ashley Olsen sighting (is there any other kind?), Kelly from PoweR Girls looking tore up from the floor up, looking messed up from the neck up, and we'd go on but we've run out of rhymes, so click on the jump and keep 'em coming to tips@gawker.com
—NH

In this issue: Ethan Hawke, Chris Kattan, Dee Snider, Kelly from PoweR Girls, Clive Owen, Joy Behar, Keith Richards, Nora and Jay McCarroll from Project Runway, Parker Posey, Kelly Osbourne, Jimmy Fallon, Al Sharpton, Kyle MacLachlan, Theodora and Alexandra Richards, Richard Thomas, Christina Applegate, Julia Roberts, James Iha, Ashley Olsen, Paul McCartney, Judah Friedlander, Famke Janssen, Rosanna Arquette, Brook Shields and Chris Henchy, Thora Birch, Helen Gurley Brown, Uma Thurman, Chris Backus (Mr. Mira Sorvino), John Turturro, Sandra Bernhard, Ben Stein, Jules Asner, Carson Daly, Maya Rudolph, Chris Parnell, Sarah Chalke, David Hyde Pierce, Hank Azaria, Tim Curry, Mila Kunis, Billy Idol, John Sayles and Maggie Renzi, Julianna Margulies, Robert De Niro, Liam Neeson.

At 23rd & 7th Avenue yesterday (4/27) around 1:45, I was late (what s new) and trying to hail a cab. Because I was standing a few feet back from the intersection, I had a feeling some jerk might try to get between me and the available cabs coming down the street, and a few seconds later I was proved right some man in a gray suit sauntered up and started hailing like he didn t see me. I shot death darts into the back of his head and begged him to turn around. Moments later, his haggard, lined faced turned my way it was none other than Chelsea s only straight male resident, Ethan Hawk. Boyfriend looks OLD. It s like he and his ex Uma are aging in exactly the opposite directions. I was about to shout Ethan Hawk, don t you dare try to steal my cab! when one pulled up in front of me, passing him by. Ha!

About 4 hours later, crossing the same intersection, I saw SNL annoyance Chris Kattan. I would have hey, Mango d him but he was working so hard on his I m somebody so don t talk to me face I was afraid the break in concentration might send him into a queeny fit, all screechy with flailing claws. He is teeny tiny.

Awesome celeb sighting Thursday morning: the one, the only DEE SNIDER, hopping into a giant black Hummer on 45th between Fifth and Sixth avenues with a little girl who appeared to be his daughter. She looked an awful lot like him, but was oddly very cute. About five, I'd guess. He looked like he's always looked — a tall, gangly, slightly demonic-looking dude from Long Island.

I saw Kelly from PoweR Girls on a downtown D train on wed the 26th. I got on at 59th St., and I think she was already on the train, so who knows where she was coming from. She was listening to her ipod and reading the Post. I stared at her, waiting for her to do something stupid, because she is, and I swear to God her lips were moving while she read. She looked kind of tore up.

was just on hudson between ganesvoort and 13th street and bumped into CLIVE OWEN! he was with a bunch of guys. so hot.

At the April 27 press screening for House of Wax, Joy Behar, co-host of The View and author of literary tour de force, Joy Schtick. Her cellphone rang during the movie. She answered it. After she finished talking, it rang again—although to her credit, she didn't take the second call. She's scarier than you'd think—she looks like the Wicked Witch of the West..wait..East..West..I can never remember.

Just saw Keith Richards and a friend walking down 5th ave at 64th street. He was dressed all in black, very thin, and wearing some sort of feather-themed dangly earrings. I didn't recognize him at first, mainly because the guy he was walking with looked like a midwestern tourist, right down to the golf player sweatshirt and flip-up sunglasses. They were talking and laughing. My friend and I both squealed. Awesome!

PROJECT RUNWAY's "punk" Nora having lunch and fussing with her fauxhawk at the Chipotle on 42nd Street.

Saw Parker Posey yesterday turning the corner onto 13th from 3rd Ave. She looked frazzled in a flowy gray shirt, her dark hair curly and messy. She was carrying lots of bags, including a shoulder bag with her matching curly haired white pooch in it.

I saw Kelly Osbourne walking in midtown yesterday. Had huge sunglasses on. I was surprised to see that she's not fat at all, which leads me to believe celeb magazines photoshop her body to make her look chubbier.

Saw Jimmy Fallon last night (4/27) eating at the bar at Casa Mono around 10pm. Sitting with a tall, good looking male friend. Noticed me pointing him out to my friend. We just wanted drinks and the restaurant wouldn't seat us, so I didn't get to see if he did anything funny.

Also yesterday, my friend reported spotting Al Sharpton in the Diamond District, where he was greeted like Don Fannuci strolling the streets of Little Italy in Godfather II.

At the Redcat last night and saw kyle mclaughlin eating dinner with his wife and two friends. he looked content and sexy in an older-man way, steely streeks in his black mane. much more sophisticated in real life vs. "Trey."

Saw Richard Thomas- John-Boy on the Waltons- this morning on the M1 going down Fifth. Mole still firmly in place.

Went to Hiro last night (4/27) for yet another one of those GBH sponsored parties, but what made this one different was the presence of His Leatheriness, Keith Richards and his scarily thin daughters Theodora and Alexandra Richards. They'd all set up camp in a banquette right by the ladies room so they weren't exactly hiding. Plus one of them was wearing that sequined beanie she always wears so she wasn't hard to miss.

At chelsea grill last night (4/27) saw christina applegate walk out with a few friends around 11:30. she was small and understated, wearing a black jacket and a cute black hat. she had a black suv waiting for her outside. then, at dagny's awesome wednesday night party at hiro, saw keith richards looking old and yet totally hot in a leather jacket and wife beater. he seemed very gracious and nice to all the fans that kept coming up to him.

There are so many famous people in Manhattan that you can almost
expect a local one to cross your path at any given moment. I certainly
was not expecting to see Academy Award Nominee, possible next James
Bond and all-around hadsome devil Clive Owensrolling down Broadway near 8th street on Wednesday afternoon. He was tall and lean in a black coat and several day's stubble which suited him exceedingly well. He gave me that gracious, split-second smile that means "Thanks for recognizing me, and thanks for not making a big deal about it." In return, I did my very best not to melt on the spot.

This afternoon, walking up Gramercy Park South, I spotted Julia Roberts. She was laughing loudly on her cell phone and drinking what appeared to be a Caramel Farppuccino. She is beautiful and was wearing huge 'don't look at me sunglasses' a la Olsen. I heard she lived in the neighboorhood, but this was my first sighting. I was quite excited.

Today in the pouring rain, I saw Project Runway winner Jay McCarroll. He was trying to hail a cab and had that expression on his face that he reserved for Wendy Popper on the show. The rain didn't stop him from sporting a headwrap scarf and oversize sunglasses-very bloated Liz Taylor circa '74. What horrors do you think he is trying to hide underneath all that headgear?

I saw James Iha (Smashing Pumpkins) coming out of Parker Posey's building today. Coincidence? Or Ryan Adams rebound?

saw chris kattan at bungalow 8 on saturday (4/23). he is SHORT... i mean, on the cusp of midget height. he also strongly resembles that monkey man he played on s.n.l. god bless.

Had the obligatory Ashley Olsen sighting at Butter last night. Ash was sporting a non-bobo look - striped fisherman's tee, navy blazer, jeans. One word of warning to our favorite twin-about-town, though: You may be rich and famous and adorable, but get those roots touched up stat, girl. Your man's eyes were wandering (specifically, to a hot, post-collegiate brunette), and even all the Wal-Mart profits in the world can't make a man forsake his natural proclivities when his lady starts to get complacent, if you know what I'm sayin'.

—A friend is a waitress at Candle 79 and recently Paul McCartney came in, chatted her up and showed her pictures of his kids—and left her a $160 tip!

As I was walking home last night on MacDougal St., I saw Judah Friedlander (Best Week Ever, and wasn't he in a Dave Matthews video?) talking to Some Guy in front of the Comedy Cellar between Bleecker and West 3rd. Just as shlubby and homely-trucker-hat-wearing as he is on TV. I feel ripped off by my neighborhood.

all this past weekend... first i saw famke janssen in soho, walking her dog, she can't dress at all and she's always around there.. then rosanna arquette in the lobby of the mercer, she is not at all so thin as i thought she was, but she seemed cool, devoid of attitude... brooke shields and her hubby/guy on spring and greene, she is SO skinny! he is horrible looking, but they kept making out and she seemed quite clingy and had a gucci bag, very american style, no cred at all

just saw thora birch (american beauty chick, not the blonde one - the other one) in the deli across the street from my work (hudson street cafe). the food there is disgusting, the staff is rude, and everything's horrendously marked up (a 20 oz. bottle of coke is $1.50, everwhere else charges $1.25 or even $1.00), thus earning it the nickname 'Dirty Deli'.thora didn't look too happy to be in the DD, she was kind of scowling and sitting at a table with an older mousy looking woman dressed all in black. thora was wearing black super high heels, black pants, and a white indian tunic-type top with black embroidery. her hair was dyed blonde, her makeup impeccable and she looked all scowly. maybe cause i was staring at her. now if only i could spot wes bentley...

on tues, 4/26, my boyfriend and i were waiting outside the shubert to be let in to the pillowman. first, we saw helen gurley brown (cosmo founder?) and her husband shuffling from the marriot across 45th to our side of the street. my boyfriend commented that she looked like the crypt keeper. a few minutes later, we saw hank azaria coming from direction (the marriot across 45th) for his performance in spamalot. no one seemed to recognize him. he was looking around a bit...not sure if he was waiting to be recognized...or just being aware of his surroundings.

I was schlepping down Irving in the rain this morning when I saw a
striking blonde coming up from the next block. She was the only person
on the street without an umbrella, which caught my attention. As she
neared, I realized it was Uma Thurman. So much prettier in person, alone, smaller than I thought. This only confirms my belief that celebrities have an invisible beauty force field around them at all times. I swear to God, she wasn't even wet. Hair all smooth, skin glowy, dry as dry can be. She was giggling into her cell phone, finally cooing, "I love you..."

Saw Chris Backus, aka Mr. Mira Sorvino walking alone on Columbus Ave. today. Can't believe I recognized him but he is approx. 6'4" and beyond beautiful so I couldn't help but notice. Way to go Mira.

there's nothing like getting on the uptown q train and sitting across
from john turturro to make your ride more fun (6ish). looking like a professor with his neatly trimmed curly grey hair and earnest studying of his notes, he'd read a few lines from his notebook while gesturing with his hands, raising an eyebrow or frowning. probably off to rehearsal and reviewing his notes. nobody else on the car seemed to notice or care.

saw sandra bernhard at the angelika theatre around 7:45 on tuesday,as i was catching oldboy. she was with unidentified gentleman right behind me.

on sunday at MoMA, I saw Ben Stein walk in and look around very quickly, before a security guard went up and talked to him, and then he just left. He was wearing his usual suit and sneakers, and honestly, I'm beginning to question why he didn't keep that money and buy a new suit instead of giving it away on a third-rate game show.

Just ran into Jay McCarroll [5-26] outside of Banana Republic on 5th ave for Project Runways casting call. He had a camera crew taping everything he was saying to the people waiting in line. Really sweet and shorter than I thought he would be. I wanted to speak
to him, but didn't want to interrupt the taping, so I walked by him and poked him and told him that I loved him. He said "Thank you, I love you too."

Saw Jules Asner today (4/26) walking through Union Square...she was having a very animated cell phone conversation & looked v. happy & relaxed. She was Soderbergh-less and I did not see donut-licking Kimora Lee Simmons in hot pursuit. Prettier than I thought and taller too, she must be 6 ft. (does she tower over the hubby?) and was carrying one of those huge Balenciaga bags an Olson twin would fit inside of.

4/17 American terminal at Kennedy - Carson Daly buying gum at Hudson News. Looks just as boring as on TV. Wheeling a suitcase.

American red-eye to LAX - Maya Rudolph and Chris Parnell of SNL. Chris in First, Maya in Business. He looks nice and thinner than on TV. She was cute-ish, but not as cute as expected. Less freckles or something. They were making fun of Tracey Morgan and his apparent "handlers" and fame at the prior nite's party.

I was coming out of DSW Battery Park City last night, smugly proud of the bargain I had just gotten, and realized I was exiting through the
celeb/filmmaker entrance for the Tribeca Film Festival. I heard a familiar voice, and it was Sarah Chalke, aka the second Becky on "Roseanne," and that girl on "Scrubs." She was gorgeous and blond, with perfect smudged eyeliner and a silver belt. I had cheap shoes.

Last night at The Park (not as "over" as I had been led to believe):
The cast of Spamalot - David Hyde Pierce, Hank Azaria and Tim Curry, as well as others less immediately recognizable. Private room - some sort of party. I spotted Hank Azaria first as he descended from an Olsen-worthy black SUV with tinted windows. Talking on his cell phone ("Alana's meeting me here"), smoking a cigarette, looking surprisingly butch (and also...hot?) in a black leather jacket and jeans.Next up was David Hyde Pierce. Very Niles. Tim Curry arrived late, breezed past the common folk and was not to be seen again.

Last night, Mila Kunis was at Bar None in the Village. They even had her behind the bar for awhile.

Spotted a still-spiky Billy Idol around 10:30 am on Monday heading North up Park Avenue near 34th street. Sporting wraparound shades, and I got a sample of his signature snarl — since he caught me staring.

I am so excited that I saw HANK AZARIA in Au Bon Pain on 44th between Madison and 5th around 2pm today (4/25). He looks just like he looks on TV. He was tall and wearing a blue peacoat of sorts and jeans. He was just getting coffee with a friend (though he seemed to take a long time deciding what to get) and they went to sit in the upstairs section, perhaps to get away from people such as myself who were blatantly staring.

On my April 24th Flight from Chicago to Newark, American Airlines
#1470, we saw the king of indie film John Sayles, with long-time collaborator/producer/actress Maggie Renzi, waiting to board. When they called first class, Sayles and Renzi ran into a little trouble because Renzi handed the stewardess the wrong boarding pass, meaning that Sayles had to stand and wait for her while she rummaged through her purse and tried to find the right one. He never turned around, which was probably good, because if he had, he would have noticed me and my girlfriend staring open-mouthed and with giddy bliss at the back of his head. Once we got on the plane, we saw him sitting in the first row of first class, and my gf, on glancing at the script he was reading (red pen in hand), saw something along the lines of (I kid you not) "well those are the best dollars I ever spent (Heffner sitting on bed in pajamas)". And yes, he was wearing a short sleeve collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up a couple turns.

Saw Julianna Marguiles Friday night outside of Temple Bar on Lafayette. She is completely gorgeous, has the smallest butt known to the ER and was smoking a cig, animatedly telling a story to three guys. Then they all went inside to drink at a corner table while the wait staff shat all over themselves, excitedly bringing her popcorn and booze.

Leaving the subway on 34th and Sixth yesterday I walked by Juliya, the "metal" VJ from Fuse that's always cursing. She was talking on her cell phone about filming some stuff for the channel the next day. It could've been because I drank 3 vodka cranberries at work, but I'm also pretty positive she had some camel toe

Saw Robert DeNiro and Liam Neeson dining together at the Cafe Luxembourg on the upper west side Thursday night. Knew it was Neeson, as he's a regular there (or so I'm told), but then realized DeNiro was with him — shouldn't he have been at the Tribeca Film Festival?! DeNiro is short, especially, next to Liam, and was wearing glasses, and put a hat on his lengthy hair when he left, carrying a doggy bag!