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A reader helpfully scanned this Help Wanted ad from today's THR and sent it in to us for analysis (click it to see the full version). Look, everyone knows that to land a good gig in this town, you're have to be willing to "011101" some "1000111." Even we had to bite our bottom lip and endure some "011010001" just to get a PA job a few years ago, and while it was not something we're proud of, we did it. And smiled. But where do these people get off demanding that desperate applicants degrade themselves with "1110000110011100"?! We're pretty sure that's not merely illegal, but that many faiths won't allow you a proper religious burial if you've done that sort of thing. Our recommendation: Pass on this one. Life's too short.

[Ed.note—It's entirely possibly that we've put our lives in danger by posting this. If we don't post again within the hour, please call the police.]

UPDATE: If you care to know what's ACTUALLY being said in the ad, follow on after the jump.

A couple of helpful nerds amateur cryptologists translated the binary code for us:

"one of your own needs help on saturday april 30 email for details recovery at last resort retrieval dot com by 5pm april 26 2005 "

As it turns out, Last Resort Retrieval, a supposed fine art recovery concern, has a web page...which is actually a front for some kind of viral marketing hoax that will inevitably turn out to be for a movie we won't want to see. Clever, clever. We feel so silly for admitting to our shameful, early days of "011010001" in Hollywood in response to this ruse.

UPDATE 2: Now we're really disappointed—it's a viral campaign for Audi. All of this intrigue and we don't even get a smells-like-2002 movie promotion? [Snore.]