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· Long since having abandoned all hopes of catching Fox's American Idol in the ratings, ABC is instead planning a "potentially explosive exposé" of the juggernaut on Primetime Live. Among the shocking revelations: Sensitive, soft-spoken (and recently de-Idoled) contestant Anwar Robinson is gay, Simon Cowell had undifferentiated genitalia at birth, and talent-free crowd favorite Scott Savol looks like a cross between a giant, scary baby and Vincent D'Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket. [Variety]
· Time Warner and Comcast have agreed to buy cable-provider Adelphia, assuring that we will have no idea whom to call and scream at during our weekly internet service outage. [THR]
· Tobey Maguire signs on to star with George Clooney and Cate Blanchett in The Good German, in which Maguire will conveniently portray a movie star who really lets himself go while frittering away his Hollywood fortunes in poker tournaments. [Variety]
· Sarah Jessica Parker is in talks to star in the the "dark comedy" Slammer, in which she'd play a jailed publicist that organizes an inmate musical. The script marks a new (and potentially much better) direction for backer Revolution Studios, which is now generating movie plots with an old book of Mad-Libs. [THR]
· Nicolas Cage will star in the film Electric God, a development that provides so many potential punchlines that we decline to offer even one. [Variety]