Ryan Seacrest Gets Ready To Pay For His Star
It seems that our plans to use time-travel to prevent Ryan Seacrest from getting a star and further tainting the Walk of Fame were utterly unsuccessful, for the American Idol host did indeed receive his little slice of soon-to-be-urine-soaked immortality earlier today. Seacrest was apparently so overcome with emotion that he immediately dropped to his knees and offered himself up for repeated "displays of gratitude" in an attempt repay the people who shelled out for the honor.
After the jump, a reader reports from the star-starved Hollywood Boulevard ceremony.
For some ungodly reason I wandered down the street to check out the starring of Ryan Seacrest. Paula, Randy and Simon were all there, as well as several rabid tourists and locals. Between the throngs screaming out to Ryan I heard several incarnations of the following conversation: “Who’s getting a star?” “Ryan Seacrest? Who? Does he have a radio show or something?” “I dunno. Maybe.” Paula looked fairly stable, like she hadn’t yet started hitting the contents of her mysterious coke cup. Simon had serious love handles and how can Randy Jackson still be so big after getting his stomach stapled?
I had to leave after Ryan came over to commune with his followers and I was nearly crushed by the crowd. I could live with dying at a Who concert, but dying at a Seacrest starring? You’d have to bury me with a paper bag over my head.
Chillingly, this event is only the second-scariest Idol-related thing we've heard about today.
