BREAKING: The The New Yorker is the best magazine EVER! Remnick and Co. picked up 5 Ellies at the Waldorf this afternoon, really kicking the shit out of Real Simple and Men's Health. (Don't snicker — it's harder than you think!) Our friend Sy "The Larger Truth" Hersh even snagged a "Public Interest" prize for his three articles on the madcap antics at the Abu Ghraib Spa & Resort. Or at least that's what the ladies from Glamour were calling it.

After the jump, a rundown where everyone's a winner. Except for those who are losers.

· Okay, so the ladies from Glamour aren't really that stupid. They won a General Excellence award best for 2 million plus circulation.

· Martha Stewart Weddings magazine picked up an award for overall excellence (and good behavior). The ankle bracelet even showed up, in person, to pick up her award!

· Newsweek gets an award for "How He Did It," a special post election issue on George W. Bush. The question still remains: seriously, like how the fuck did he do it?

· BabyTalk grabbed the service journalism award for breast-feeding; Britney Spears immediately gets publicist to ask for a free subsscription.

· Time gets award for best photo essay; Jim Kelley still pissed that people just look at the pictures.

Still awake? If so, the rest of the winners are available here.