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We love it when celebrities loudly conduct their important business calls in public. It fills the air with the happy noise of the commerce that makes our little city go, go, go, and helpfully alerts all within earshot that Someone Important is nearby and Getting Things Done. We love it even more when a reader records snippets of those conversations for the public record. You'll have to continue on after the jump for the pay-off, because everything's more fun when it's a guessing game.

last friday afternoon at the grove i'm standing at the concierge desk, minding my own business, when suddenly, as if out of nowhere, i see a woman emerge from the parking structure. she is a hybrid beverly hills wife/plastic surgery victim/non-eater hollywood type. dressed down in jeans, t-shirt, incognito baseball hat, flashy purse. she didn't phase me, until i heard her begin to scream into her cell phone. lady is sitting on a railing in the middle of the grove, just screaming about producer this, breach of contract that.

woman: (screaming at the top of her lungs, in the middle of throngs of japanese tourists) "well, tell him i was honored that he asked me to be a part of it! i was honored to be presented with the opportunity to work on the show!" (this is in a pissed off tone, fully screaming), "...i go on the show, and they have to make me the bitch! i didn't do anything that would put me in breach of contract! i fulfilled my contractual obligations!"

my first inclination was that she was a washed up actress/television personality doing anything she could for the attention of the plebes. i wasn't far off. after closer examination, i realized it was none other than the incredible janice dickinson: a washed up model/television personality! after a good couple minutes of sitting on the railing and not getting enough stares, she decided to start pacing back and forth wildly through the elevator area that leads in and out of the parking garage. i'm fairly certain that the throngs of tourists were extremely confused and had no idea who the crazy lady ranting about being "typecast as the bitch" was. she was incredibly loud and didn't disappoint in the obnoxiousness department. she also seems to have had enough plastic surgery to make joan rivers proud. but we already knew that.

We can practically hear her voice ringing in our head right now! But that's nothing we can't correct by jamming a corn-cob holder in our ears.