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· What's next, Oscar the Grouch going on Paxil? Are Ernie and Bert going to stop bathing together? Will Snufalapagus stop staring deeply into our eyes and cease delivering subliminal messages telling us it's OK to hit the mailman with a frying pan because he's secretly reading The New Yorker short story before we get to it? We fear all is lost.
· Is it just us, or is Wilmer Valderrama wearing clown shoes? If those shoes are full, that might explain many, many previously troubling things about his dating history. Also: The Glorious Ladies of Fug make us laugh.
· Nick and Jessica's tabloid troubles, now in Mad-Lib form. Yay for marital strife!
· Red Sox fans have something new to complain about: After this weekend, when Fever Pitch is released, they'll never know if someone in a Sox cap is a fan of David Ortiz or Drew Barrymore.