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When we saw that today's Times had a feature on the West Village town house belonging to Hilary Swank and her proudly emasculated husband Chad Lowe, we immediately cringed with the expectation of couches made out of baby skin and coasters encrusted in canary diamonds — you know, the usual crap-luxe you see in InStyle.

And really, we wanted to be disgusted. We wanted to hate the whole damn thing, to feel the same loathing for this home we felt for the Ying-Yang twins on Cribs.

But... WE FUCKING LOVE IT. All of it. The mid-century french pieces, the black leather chairs, the chandeliers — omg, so perfect. Give it to us. Usually we look at pics of celebrity homes and gag a little, but not this time. Swank and her wifesband's home is clean, sleek, and eclectic, and we want to spend the night. Or at least come over and touch the wallpaper when nobody's looking.

Anyone who has two Oscars, a pet bunny and parrots can't be that bad. Trailer park or not.

Hilary Swank & Chad Lowe: Oscar's Retreat [NYT]