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Johnny Ray Gasca, the arrested movie pirate who eluded the FBI for a year after giving his lawyer the slip while awaiting trial, was finally caught in Florida yesterday. According to today's LAT story on Gasca's capture, being a wildly successful bootlegger requires a seemingly total absence of taste, as Gasca was nabbed recording screenings of The Core and Anger Management. Here, MPAA chief Dan Glickman crows about the collar:

"Today's arrest sends a clear message to those engaging in copyright theft: … There is nowhere to hide. And you will be caught."

For Gasca's crimes, both piratical and aesthetic, the Feds will briefly remand him into the custody of MPAA pirate-hunter emeritus Jack Valenti, who will detain him in an empty Paramount soundstage and slowly devour his liver. After a week of this protracted torture, Gasca will be returned to the proper authorities. He'll presumably wind up in jail for his illegal activities, where he'll immediately be killed by the dark powers of Glickman's mind.