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Absurdist PR "guru" Ronn Torossian is back in the papers for suing former employee Lindsey Benoit. Torossian claims that after leaving his 5W firm, Benoit took his "trade secrets" to Buzz Marketing Group.

Gee, what sort of trade secrets could Ronn be trying to protect? Some guesses:

· Screaming is good.
· Sweating is better.
· Lawsuits are best.
· Never underestimate the power of angry, ill-informed email rants.
· When in doubt, always go with Old Spice.
· Better to be described as "hairy" in the press than not be in the press at all!
· Basil, and lots of it.

Betrayed Boss [Page Six]
Our Love Affair With The Ronn [Gawker]