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Scientology's gotten a bum rap for being "homophobic." Would aggressively heterosexual, and often traditionally married, stars (who we refuse to name here) possibly endorse a religion that would discriminate against gays? Of course they wouldn't. Listen to this enthusiastic, incredibly tolerant explanation of the inclusive spiritual inspiration society's policy on homosexuality as recited by a publicist:

Scientology spokeswoman Gaetane Asselin scoffed at the suggestion that celebrities like twice-married Cruise, Lisa Marie Presley, Kirstie Alley and Isaac Hayes embrace a theology that sees gays as weak or demented."Mr. Hubbard abhorred discrimination in all its forms," Asselin told us. "In today's liberal society," she argued, the church encourages any relationship that is "ethical."

Perhaps calling it a "policy" isn't entirely accurate. Who needs an official policy to tell the world that it embraces all of the lifestyles that fall under the completely unambiguous "ethical" guideline? To further prove just how accepting they are, they're finally fixing the malfunctioning e-meters that cause a subject's testicles to liquify if they think about Tom Cruise's sweaty, all-male beach volleyball scene from Top Gun during an auditing session.