Friday:
 · What the hell was Christopher Walken thinking when he agreed to be in Gigli? Ask him tonight, when Citizen Walken takes you on a journey through the synapses and dendrites of a very creepy brain.
· Teenage popsters the Harlem Shakes are no more Harlem than Barbra Streisand. But unlike Babs, these boys are under 20, and hey, they went to Dalton.
Saturday:
 · Dirty secret: we rented Nadia, the movie about the Olympic gymnast Nadia Comaneci, so many times that the video store clerk finally just gave it to us for free. If you too have an insatiable appetite for short girls in leotards, then head to Madison Square Garden for the Visa's American Cup.
· Grab your free spirit and hit the NYC Grassroots Media Conference, where, among other things, you can hear a lecture on "Examining White Privilege in Independent Media," a topic which, for the record, we know absolutely nothing about.
Sunday:
 · It's Believer night at KGB Bar , so fuck the Oscars and try to get with Heidi Julavits.
· Eh, who are we kidding? You're not leaving the house tonight. Keisha Castle-Hughes 4EVA!