This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

The Defamer Special Movie Premiere Food Critic strikes again, this time reporting on MGM's surprisingly effective fusion of "urban" and more mainstream premiere party fare at last night's Beauty Shop opening. We must admit that we're a little disappointed that the Lion managed to pull off this delicate balancing act, as we were hoping for a withering account of the studio's patronizing interpretation of soul food. Alas, it was not to be. Read on:

Throughout the screening of the Beauty Shop one question raced through the crowd, knotting every brow in anticipation: Would the party, in the spirit of the film, feature "urban" themed soul food, or would MGM find such a choice patronizing and just dish out standard premiere food. The answer, a resounding, "Some of both" speaks volumes about both the future of entertainment industry stereotypes and the future of party food.

The party was held at the now abandoned former Westwood Circuit City (to locals of a certain age, that the former Cafe Casino to you). The site was redecorated as a beauty parlored-themed nightclub of the sort you might find when attending a themed nightclub. At chairs around the room, hair dressers would do up your hair, with funny streaks and wavy strands, Latifa-style. Hilarious, but who wants a hair cut when there is eating to be done.

So as noted, the party throwers tried to split the difference on the patronizing urban question, offering two parallel buffets at stations around the room. There was a soul food-ish buffet, labeled "Country Style" and a haute reception food buffet (ie. honky food) labeled "City Style"...which is very confusing if this was a film for urban audiences, but presumably the Urban audiences would rather have the ...Anyway, semiotics aside, the "City" buffet was fairly bland and unimaginative, political fundraiser type food - sea bass on risotto cakes, penne, little slices of roast beef in a wine sauce. There were a few a-hole executives assholish enough to take it over the country buffet, but it was no contest where the action was. (Those who were not Kevin Bacon who looked more anorexic than any model or call girl present.)

The country buffet, on the other hand, had a butter lettuce salad that was very refreshing but the clots of lettuce were too big to shove into your mouth all and once and impossible to cut when you are standing up holding your plate in one hand and drink in the other. The fried chicken was nicely not over fried but a little too spicy to eat when likewise, you've gotta push your way back to the bar to refill your plastic cup. The pulled pork, however, was pure and simple, a triumph. Sweet, remarkably tender but not at all stringy. The bbq sauce applied just enough so that it didn't get all over your face when you are trying to think of something to say to your agent standing five feet away from you.

Trying to find a place to sit with my plate of pork, I perch on a couch a few feet down from the great, never out of place, Ed McMahon, who looks fantastic, The young generation took notes on the elements of class. The appetizers from afar looked good, macaroni and cheese and hush puppies, but I never got near any of the waiters carrying them. There were also bowls of jelly beans on the VIP tables, but none available for the common folk. Hey, this is a town in which success is rewarded and I respect that.

The film featured a major subplot about an urban delicacy known as "Monkey Bread." It was the entire crowd's expectation that much would be made of this at the party, but strangely, it was almost impossible to find. Finally, in one corner of the room, I located a replica of the food cart from the film serving fried catfish, collard greens and the infamous monkey bread. The catfish was okay. The collard greens were perhaps the best I've ever had, amazingly sweet and perfectly done. The Monkey Bread, however, on close inspection turned out to be very similar to what is known in Anglo communities as the "dinner roll." Indistinguishable, in fact. A strange denouement to such a delightful plot point. If they make a sequel, I recommend more screen time for the greens, and killing off the Monkey Bread in the first act.

Overall, as premiere food goes, fun and invigorating. A few missteps, and some danger of stereotyping, but I'll take it. This will be MGM"s penultimate premiere and it looks like the lion is going out with a roar.

A sad footnote to the story however: an hour in, with nothing to say to my former agent, I had to leave while there was still no sign of dessert. A tragic lapse. I trust an investigation is underway.