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Beware, residents of Pittsburgh. It seems that an actor-type has chewed off the ankle bracelet that keeps horny, semi-famous lifeforms close to LA and escaped to your city for some work. As usual, the method of his seduction is that last refuge of the boner-riddled insomniac, a Craigslist ad:

I am in town filming an independent film for the next two months and I'm looking for some action. I'm a celebrity, but by no means a top-list actor. You've probably seen at least a few of my movies in the past 20 years, I've been in a lot of them. I find that I can't go out in this city without becoming the center of attention in a bar or a restaurant. I am going out of my mind, horny as hell, but too timid and self-conscious to meet anyone "out".

I've thought about flying in a friend from back home, but the two women I've dated for the past 4 years have moved on because of my hectic travel schedule. I'm looking for a woman who would like to explore some intimate evenings, maybe no strings at first, maybe more later. I can't guarantee anything but I do know I'll be back in LA in May. [...]

Despite what this may sound like, I am really good natured, down to earth, and very real. I am enjoying my time in this town—has been a great relief to get away all the shallowness of LA and the industry. I was hesitant to put this ad in this section, but if there were a section called "responsibly horny" I'd have put it there. Send me your photo and tell me about yourself, and let's see what might happen. I assure you this is real and I will respond to any serious responses.

Good luck, women of Pittsburgh. An unfulfilling liaison with someone who will pretend to know Brad Pitt awaits.