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Don't ask why I was at Michael's today; just know that I was the youngest lady there by, say, 400 years. And, as a young lady, I have a moral responsibility to comment on Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein's outfit. So I'm going to break it down here for a second, with this heartfelt message from me to the 'Toos:

Atoosa, let me begin by saying you looked lovely today. Your new LV cherry bag was simply adorable, and that brooch brought out your cheekbones. But your frock, though well-cut and stylish in black... Well, I guess I just don't know why you were wearing a sleeveless dress today. You looked cold, Atty, and David Brinkley could see your ankles! Also, I'm concerned about your shoes. While your sandals were beautifully heeled and fancy, featuring some sort of indiscernable (yet surely exotic) pattern, I think busting out the open-toed styles might be a bit premature. Surely you saw the weather forecast for today — are you trying to catch your death out there?

I hope you don't think I'm being critical. I know we ladies of publishing adhere to the designers' decrees regarding spring fashion, but Mother Nature trumps Miu Miu, and she's not having it. Going against the weather is the sort of thing that's going to make you ILL, Atoosa, and I'm just worried about the example you're setting for your readers. More importantly, I want to see you stay healthy, k? XOXO, girlfriend!