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Wow, somebody at Craiglist is really moving at the speed of light, posting this listing for the job very recently vacated by Gail Berman. This is pretty great, so we're just going to get out of the way and let you enjoy:

Opportunity:
Fox Broadcasting Company is searching for a multi-talented, creative and dynamic executive to fill the post of entertainment president.
Responsibilities:
- Provide tepid support for quality shows (i.e. “Arrested Development”), cancel them when marketing says there’s no audience (i.e. “Family Guy”), and filling newly open time slot with complete and total crap (i.e. “Life on a Stick”).
- Figure out a way to air “American Idol” every day of the week, continue administering S&M-style horse whippings to Simon Cowell, and hide corpses of homeless people that Paula Abdul runs over.
- Keep minorities off of “The O.C.”
- Produce string of “Who’s Your Daddy?” follow-ups: “Who’s Your Husband’s Mistress?” “Who’s Your Hijacker?” and “Who’s Your Child’s Molestor?”
- Convince “Mad TV” scribes that audience really thinks they’re funny

Qualifications:
- GED or trade school certification (DeVry or equivalent only please).
- At least ten years experience as a network executive, or demonstrated ability to wipe own ass.
- Has sacrificed at least one virgin for every year of adulthood.
- References from former superiors that you have slept with, in order to verify quality of said lay.
- Proven track record of driving assistants to suicide, stabbing friends in back, and starting every sentence with “I would kill my mother for...”

Interested applicants should apply directly through our jobs web site at http://www.foxcareers.com/.