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Who says we have to choose? Can't Michael Jackson be the kind of creepy clown that gives kids wine, calls it "Jesus Juice," then shows them some porn as a warm-up to an inappropriate sleepover in his bed? Leno, on the other hand, can be the kind of creepy clown who devotes his monologue to "such topics as electrocution and prison rape" and jests "about the possibility of Jackson attempting suicide." First, cultural critics and pointy-headed types like Elaine Showalter should stay off our turf. Secondly, when did Leno's monologue get funny? Eh, we're not going to lose any sleep over it. We're sure his prison rape and suicide jokes are hacky anyway.