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We're only vaguely aware of the Fashion Week activities that are raging all around town, though it seems that there's been a slight increase in the number of distressingly thin women in fancy clothes at the local Starbucks. A reader picks up the slack with this unimpressed report from last night's party for the opening of a new Marc Jacobs presence on Melrose Place.

Hollywood is like rugby: mud, sweat, elusive glory, and the occasional elbow in the eye. Such was the case in the invitation line at the Marc Jacobs party on Melrose Place last night.

Bottlenecks are more organized. One stylist, repeatedly ignored by girl-with-clipboard, snapped, "I'll never buy another piece of Marc Jacobs". But the real shocker of the night was not that LVMH spent $500,000 on a cocktail party for the pegged jeans crowd, but that Perry Farrell screeched Bad Company. Bad company indeed. Was that Terry Richardson waiting in line? Yes, there is a god. Once inside we discovered to our dismay slim pickings: Vincent Gallo in hat with girl, some guy that works in Johnny Depp's office, Carolyn Murphy looking confused, and Jared Leto with the sniffles. He must have caught that cold in the Porta-Potty. C+.