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· News to bore you to incontinence: Four longform and three music/comedy/variety categories are demoted to the fake, unbroadcasted Emmys. [Variety]
· NBC concedes the ratings ass-whupping that's been the current TV season, as freshly-beaten president Kevin Reilly confesses, "Trust me, I'm acutely aware we need the next generation of hits," before promising advertisers that September will be better. [THR]
· Kevin Reilly Day continues! The network may release its Poseiden Adventure TV movie before Warner Bros. can unleash Wolfgang Petersen's big-budget version in movie theaters next summer, hoping that their all-star lineup (we're not making this up) of Rutger Hauer, Peter Weller, and—get ready for it—Steve! Fucking! Guttenberg! will steal some of the "real" movie's thunder. [Variety]
· Assemble your own joke from these spare parts we found laying around in the trades: Tara Reid, Las Vegas, wedding chapel, Fox pilot. [THR]
· HBO picks up fourth season of The Wire, a show that everyone insists is brilliant but which we've never seen. Who has time to watch something that's actually good when gay-seeming singers are quitting America Idol every week? [Variety]