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Mario Vazquez, the American Idol finalist who will go down in the history of the last 15 minutes for quitting the show for "personal reasons," has abandoned those "personal reasons" just long enough to hit the publicity circuit. In the meantime, American Idol producers insist that there's no shady backstory. As one of the 24 finalists, he signed some sort of contract a few weeks ago and, as such, the Gays aren't buying into any innocent theories:

Heaven forbid that the souls here gathered could be, at some point, fingered as the source for yet another naughty and unsubstantiated rumor. But when it comes to a golden throated, sweet talking hottie with a flawless complexion, even pearly whites and eyebrows too perfect NOT to be tweezed, what are we in good conscience as the gay rumor-mongering Web site of record supposed to say? That his girlfriend missed him?

Law, child. You ought to know us better than that.

DL Dish: Bronx Bomb [Datalounge]
Mario Vazquez Still Under 'American Idol' Contract [MTV]
American Idol [Fox]